Grinning Goat

Sometimes

When no one is looking

I 😂 at the rolling clouds of love
 
 
Sometimes

When no one is looking

I 😭 at the joy of life
 
 
Mostly I just don’t know

Why things go the way they go

But I abide it all with a hard won grin

Laughing Joy

laughing-girl-Camel

Joy is not

out there

waiting

it comes

after

a good

laugh

Radical Foolishness

image
The Hanged Man – Thoth Tarot

It’s coming up on a year anniversary for this blog. It was my first real blogging effort and it was an experiment. I wrote to my self. I began writing poetry. I didn’t set the world on fire, but I let some of the fire and Light in me out into the big wide world. That’s progress if you ask me. Progress towards what?

That is the continuing question.

I was driven and wrote everything spontaneously for the most part. I was exploring. I left breadcrumbs if others were curious to sample the things I tasted. It was hard to be so exposed and also the most freeing thing I have ever done. I was sparked into these acts of anarchy and self mutilation/liberation through things and by forces beyond myself I barely understand. I personally can not deny the leading caring hand of synchronicity in my life. I take little credit, other than learning to listen. I take a lot of comfort knowing there are things beyond myself that obviously want good for us and send us Love I feel in the form of Light. To me, this is Divinity. That’s another essay.

My spiritual journey is intense, erratic and eclectic. There is no jackpot at the end I’m angling for. In all my seeking and knowledge gained and tasted, the only Truth was found in the living of life artfully and creatively in the moment in Love. I can’t give you a map to joy, but I’m Joyful. I lost my fear of all but the One, my self. I tell myself the lies I want to believe. To sift through the lies about ourselves is hard work, but it must be done. You are the only one holding your self back from the Truth.

Based on my writings, you may want to stay far away from my thoughts and experience. I’m warning you, tangle with the depths of your heart and seek true reality in love and you will become ensnared, in the way you were meant to be, by your own heart.

An all consuming fire will ignite at your feet and you will BURN!

You will dissolve into something much bigger than yourself. You will become a creator and you will leave everything better than you found it. You will give more than you take and you will find limitless capacity within yourself and infinite beauty in all things. You will master your desires and mind.

I would take no one’s word about anything. I would turn over every rock and then consider what I found based on my experience. I was changed over this year, cracked open. Begin this journey immediately if you hear the song, go find the Truth about your Self. This is all just between you and your Self in the end I am finding.

It has been one hell of a year for me personally, not just creatively and spiritually. I found a love I never thought possible with my flame twin. I have struggled with my health more so this year than ever, but ironically found more balance inside than ever before. I have been greatly humbled. Recently, I was made aware that there was still this ‘Me’ trying to find the right side of the illusion, Maya, to live in. The Holy ‘Me’, the Sparatual ‘Me’, The Enightened One is still trying and striving. This is the time of the Hanged Man’s ascension. And there is only one way to go from here, up up up. I asked what was real and who was speaking to me in life? What was this new song I was hearing?

I began to see and learn what I was and what I was involved in. Is this enlightenment? Who knows or cares! I found a Way to hear and experience the Universe like never before.

I began to understand the interpersonal nature of reality underneath time and space. I experienced it. I was That. Walls evaporated. The signs of our evolution and fear are everywhere. The coming generations are more open than the former ones. The end of greed and profit at the expense of others one way or another is coming. I yielded to my right brain intuition for a year. Things turned out well, though not completely linear or predictable. From my view here I can offer you only the following to find your way.

When in doubt, go with the flow and act naturally!

Don’t waste energy throwing yourself against closed doors. Don’t wait. Do things now that need to be done with and for the ones with you. Live life in the moment and let the future unfold.

I’ll leave you with some meditations to challenge you to just chill. Remember things and people will take care of themselves. Just go with the flow and take responsibility and be mindful in every moment of your own actions and reactions. Don’t just consider your own needs, but the needs of all around you. Live your Truth radically and foolishly. Let everyone see what you are. Show your naughty hidden bits. Hide and hold nothing back.

You got this.

Adyashanti wrote: “Yes, we go to this timeless background of consciousness and awareness. Absolutely. Very liberating isn’t it? Very, very freeing; very profound and very beautiful.

And yet, if taken in and of itself, we’ve just switched sides of illusion. We’ve gone from form and time, to formlessness and timelessness, and we say: ‘Well, this one’s more true,’ because it’s more comfortable, it feels better, basically.

But the truth is only when these two collapse together – that this world of form IS the timeless, so what we call form is emptiness, it is consciousness, that’s what it is. Then, there’s no stance anymore, is there? There is no sense of ‘I have to remain as awareness’. We only have to remain as awareness if we don’t really know that this wall is awareness, that your car is awareness – once we know that, then we’re finally free, are we not?”

Aisha Salem wrote: “Taking responsibility comes down to that loyalty to listening, to actually dare to let that happen which is supposed to happen. That is not to say that everything is laid out, because in every moment we have the choice of love over fear, of truth over the lie. The moment that we choose truth, then walking strongly in that truth becomes our radicality.”

David Foster Wallace wrote: “The capital T-Truth is about life BEFORE death. It is about the value of a real education, which has almost nothing to do with knowledge, and everything to do with simple awareness; awareness of what is so real and essential, so hidden in plain sight all around us, all the time, that we have to keep reminding ourselves over and over…This is water…This is water. It is unimaginably hard to stay awake in the world today.”

Joy at Sudden Disappointment

iam

If anyone spends any time here, they will know my deep love for Rumi and Jesus. Many in the West are discovering Rumi, who for me channels love directly from the Source of all being. I want to share this amazing poem. It bridges two faiths. There is a lot being said and Rumi gives us hints at how to proceed forward in this most perilous time.

It is my belief that many ways of thinking and living must find bridges between one another if we are to move forward into a more balanced future peacefully. Yes, we must move beyond religion and science separated. We must learn to find our union in the now before we can share the future. We must learn to use our minds and spirits/consciousness together. This is what I live to demonstrate and proclaim now and forever. We all have a piece of something we are responsible for. 

To be embraced and kissed by God is something to experience. Love is the only bridge we need.

Whatever comes, comes from a need,
a sore distress, a hurting want.

Mary’s pain made the baby Jesus.
Her womb opened its lips
and spoke the Word.

Every part of you has a secret language.
Your hands and your feet say what you’ve done.

And every need brings in what’s needed.
Pain bears its cure like a child.

Having nothing produces provisions.
Ask a difficult question,
and the marvelous answer appears.

Build a ship, and there’ll be water
to float it. The tender-throated
infant cries and milk drips
from the mother’s breast.

Be thirsty for the ultimate water,
and then be ready for what will
come pouring from the spring.

A village woman once was walking by Muhammad.
She thought he was just an ordinary illiterate.
She didn’t believe that he was a prophet.

She was carrying a two-month-old baby.
As she came near Muhammad, the baby turned
and said, “Peace be with you, Messenger of God.

The mother cried out, surprised and angry,
“What are you saying,
and how can you suddenly talk!”

The child replied, “God taught me first,
and then Gabriel.”
“Who is this Gabriel?
I don’t see anyone.”
“He is above your head, Mother. Turn around. He has been telling me many things.”
“Do you really see him?”
“Yes.
He is continually delivering me from this degraded state into sublimity.

Muhammad then asked the child,
“What is your name?”

Abdul Aziz, the servant of God, but this family
thinks I am concerned with world-energies.
I am as free of that as the truth of your prophecy is.

So the little one spoke, and the mother
took in a fragrance that let her surrender
to that state.

When God gives this knowing,
inanimate stones, plants, animals, everything,
fills with unfolding significance.

The fish and the birds become protectors.
Remember the incident of Muhammad and the eagle.

It happened that as he was listening
to this inspired baby, he heard a voice
calling him to prayer. He asked for water
to perform ablutions. He washed his hands
and feet, and just as he reached for his boot,
an eagle snatched it away! The boot turned upsidedown
as it lifted, and a poisonous snake dropped out.

An eagle circled and brought the boot back,
saying, “My helpless reverence for you
made this necessary. Anyone who acts
this presumptuously for a legalistic reason
should be punished!”

Muhammad thanked the eagle,
and said, “What I thought was rudeness
was really love. You took away my grief,
and I was grieved! God has shown me everything,
but at that moment I was preoccupied within myself.”
The eagle, “But chosen one, any clarity I have
comes from you!”

This spreading radiance
of a True Human Being has great importance.

Look carefully around you and recognize
the luminosity of souls. Sit beside those
who draw you to that.

Learn from this eagle story
that when misfortune comes, you must quickly praise.

Others may be saying, Oh no, but you
will be opening out like a rose losing itself petal by petal.

Someone once asked a great sheikh
what sufism was.

“The feeling of joy when sudden disappointment comes.”

The eagle carries off Muhammad’s boot
and saves him from snakebite.

Don’t grieve for what doesn’t come.
Some things that don’t happen
keep disasters from happening.

 

There is no God and We are His Prophets

I titled my meditation today with some powerful words from Cormac McCarthy’s The Road. These words were spoken by the lone hermit Ely to the man and his boy on the dark grey road to nowhere in a dead world. These words will wreck you as you let their meaning insinuate into your consciousness. If you are a student of yourself, you need to read The Road. The movie wasn’t bad either. It looked exactly as it felt to me in the book. If you have seen The Revenant, the movies are very similar in tone and esoteric meaning. I’m going to write more about the story behind The Revenant later. It is very personal and magickal for me.

Anyway, I have been reading Native American mythology recently so themes of Apocalypse, God, Spirit, Prophecy and Rebirth are swishing around in my head and heart in an alchemical mix at the moment. Why would someone read about Native American prophesies? There is a thread that led me there. It led me to some interesting folks waiting for an Eschaton to destroy the world, aliens of the grey kind, through my own experience with the Apocalypse through the Evangelical religion/cult of my Mother and finally it led me to my true self who I found laughing at me. All I can do now is go through the motions and write the burning words floating up from my soul, my confession I guess or last will and testament maybe. So, on with the confession.

My culture brought the Native American’s judgement and Apocalypse in a way. Our entire culture is built on the ashes of theirs. If any American feels that pride sticking in their throats, that’s why, whether they are aware of it or not. I came across these haunting words in my title today, There is no God and We are his Prophets, as I meditated on my own internal Apocalypse and Apotheosis I have been exploring recently. That is not an end of myself, but an uncovering to the ultimate awareness and expression of myself. That sounds mystical, well, it is. Also, The Apocalypse seems to be coming at me from every input channel these days. That’s what they call a synchronicity. You don’t ignore those. I don’t anyway, not anymore. In a way I am a child of the Apocalypse. Let me explain.

As long as I can remember someone was predicting the end of the world. It is amazing actually when I stopped and thought about it. I was born in 1972 and when I was a boy I remember Walter Cronkite on CBS News talking about the long gas lines and energy crisis every night it seemed or US hostages in Iran. We had acid rain, floods, eroding ozone layer, growth of terrorism into adolescence and the terrible liberals to fear. Reagan came and saved us. Oh and I can’t forget the nuclear bombs flying over our heads and waiting in the ground to unleash Armageddon. The world I grew up in helped to foster a bitter angst and skepticism in me I carried into young adulthood unaware. A ticking time bomb of doubt. I gather now that was more by design than accident. On top of all that my Mother went and got Saved and dragged us all with her. I’ll spare you the details, insert your own inauthentic religious forced experience -> here.

The Christian Apocalypse literalness, as presented to the common Evangelical today as infallible, is laughable. I laugh, ha! All you need to do is consider the source of this doom and gloom and their gold plated fruit, no more to say about it. The metaphorical Apocalypse of the true self and uncovering of our Divinity has been co-opted by a cult and dangerous fairytale! Those are fighting words, so I better back away. Any person who spends a day in this world knows the norm is change, in every Planck unit of time it is a new Universe. It is fear that seeks to build a hedge between yourself and an unknown future. Do not look for an absolute, for that is like putting your foot on shifting sand. There is no bedrock to put your foot on in this decaying material Universe.

Logically to me, the answer, if there was one I often thought, would be found beneath the myths that were presented. I didn’t have a map to that place though, so I was no better off than the rest of the dreaming world. But there was some voice inside of me, some force, that took this opening in my thinking and began to work on it slowly over 2 decades. It just always felt like the right way to look at these things to me. Intuition I have found becomes your greatest guide and friend the more you learn to hear and trust it. What is literal in a world of myth? And that was my only point ever to those around me sharing the delusion we were under, I always felt it was important to think about the things beneath these things in this old book and look beneath the ideas and see the archetypes. Who wrote them? Why? It was at the end of religion and recognition of common archetypes across all religions, myth and culture that led me to an esoteric occult secret about myself. One that I knew I would find.

One I was destined to find it seems.

So today, researching the recurring theme of Apocalypse in my life, I was thinking about the boy from The Road and how often I feel myself walking like him on in a gray dead world that does not know it is dead yet. I found an essay suggesting a correlation between the boy’s father in the book and Virgil from Dante’s Inferno. Virgil could take you through your past and illuminate purgatory, but only we can climb that fiery stairway to Heaven. As Elijah did in that old book. The boy in the story represents the last child God born from the ashes of the old world maybe. A Messiah? The boy asks if there are other people and his father says no. Not anywhere, the boy asks? Maybe somewhere else, the boy says. Does the father live only to keep the boy’s hope alive? Why keep walking? That is the question, isn’t it? I will not spoil it and I am not sure I have a satisfactory answer yet anyway why they still kept walking in that dead world. I think it was partially driven by that unspoken intuition that drives us as a Light in the darkest storm from deep within and because humans have that unique sense of the future and hope keeps you warm in the cold. Better to hope than have none maybe in the end, as many wise sages seem to have said.

That sounds very depressing and shady, doesn’t it? I’m sorry, right now, as I look out the window though, it is beautiful actually. The Diablo mountain range is covered in a fresh coat of pastoral California green against a clear blue sky. The rains have come and gone and left us many gifts. For me I only see unicorns and rainbows now when I think of the Apocalypse. All myth is being washed away from me layer by layer. When I let all the myth of all creeds go and ask myself about the future, I feel a real burning hope and joy. There is no reason for it or specific message. My hope is just a Light burning inside me. I have no use for any other person’s version of reality. I know myself, here, now. What else can I offer you, but my view from here? I found something in myself I could never have dreamed of. That was mystical. I am only beginning to plumb the depths of myself. I invite you to shed your myths and stories. Shed your illusions and dreams about yourself and see what is left.

There is a New Age at hand I believe and I chose to and will play an active hand in bringing it into being with my Light, however it chooses to shine in this world. It is beautiful to me that when I asked myself about what I AM I could only respond with poems and pictures.  The future must be one where we learn to live in balance, so we have to learn to do that today and now. It began and will continue with individuals learning to love themselves first. In this New Age suffering will be seen for the illusion it is, created by our own desire for ourselves. We will and can find Heaven here now. Is that a place of rest? Rest from what? Suffering? Whose? Work? For what did you work? If no one is here suffering or working, who needs to rest? Maybe Heaven is being fully connected in this life, now, because now is all we have. Can you live with now being enough for you? If you can, you will find balance.

 

Lafi The Courtesan

yantra-siva-shakti

Lafi Lafi
Why did you leave me
Your soft touch
Brought me nearer
Than ever to
Eternity
Now I fade
To my sweet Death
Your ruined name
Bringing you close
Your forbidden touch
The sweetness of your breath
The joy of our laughter
The tenderness of our
Decadent tears
The Blue nights with doves
Always chasing one another
Across time I will seek
I shall never die
If I can but find again
Your sweet embrace
That warm honey filling my ear
I see you on the shore
Wait for me there
Dreaming your blue dreams

Dedicated to Rumi
With eternal gratitude
For helping me to find my self
Your sweet words
fill my soul

The Two Paths

Kartikeya-and-Ganesha

I have found there is no single path for personal spiritual growth. Take in qualities and ideas from All around you. Close yourself to nothing and above all be honest with yourself and others.

I recently enjoyed a Hindu myth illustrating this. For Hindus and Buddhists, Ganesha removes obstacles. When you view the world as myth and symbol, ancient mythologies can tell you about about yourself and give you hints to live your life as the Fool.

Lord Shiva and Ma Parvati had two sons, Ganesha and Kartikeya. Both the sons were equally dear to them. Once it happened that the Devas gave one divine fruit to Shiva and one to Parvati and told them that it is a special fruit. Whoever will eat it, will learn the supreme knowledge of the Universe and gain immortality.

Both the sons wanted to eat it of course. This lead to an argument between them. To pacify the situation, Shiva told them that whoever will circle the world three times and come back first will get the fruit. Now Kartikeya also known as Murugan or Skanda or Subrahmanya is the god of war and he is also the commander in chief of the Devas’ army. He flies a peacock. (Like to try that one day) Being the God of War, Lord Kartikeya took this challenge very seriously and started his journey around the world immediately without wasting anytime in thinking.

On other hand, Ganesha who is God of Wisdom, learning, arts and removal of obstacles knew very well that he is no match for Kartikeya in this race. One of the names of Ganesha is ‘lambodara’ which means the ‘huge bellied lord’. Lord Ganesha’s vehicle is a mouse. So Ganesha knew that with this huge belly and slow moving mouse he cannot defeat his elder brother Kartikeya.

Ganesha loved his parents very much. What you love becomes the center of your life and your life energy goes into it. So Ganesha applied his intelligence and started circling his parents three times. Shiva and Parvati asked him, “What you are doing?”

Ganesha replied , “For me, you are my whole world.” Moreover within you is the whole universe. So I am circling the world. Ganesha’s argument was right because he meant it with all his heart. He was not using any logic to win the race. Ganesha really loved his parents.

Ask any small baby, for the baby his/her entire universe is his mother. So for Ganesha, his world revolved around his parents and the other world to which Kartikeya was circling was superficial to him.

Lord Shiva and Ma Parvati were pleased Ganesha’s argument. So Ganesha got the blessing of his parents and won the Divine fruit.

Ruminations on Awareness

I have been meditating on these thoughts. Rumi is the deepest ocean. He just gets deeper and deeper for me the more still and quiet I become.

“If you knew yourself for even one moment, if you could just glimpse your most beautiful face, maybe you wouldn’t slumber so deeply in that house of clay.

Why not move into your house of joy and shine into every crevice!

For you are the secret Treasure-bearer, and always have been.

Didn’t you know?” – Rumi

“You have been walking the ocean’s edge, holding up your robes to keep them dry.

You must dive naked under and deeper under, a thousand times deeper. Love flows down.

The ground submits to the sky and suffers what comes. Tell me, is the earth worse for giving in like that?

Do not put blankets over the drum.

Open completely.” – Rumi

Whatever your path, are you negotiating or listening to all? Do you know yourself and your true voice? I am telling you that if you care only for yourself and needs, your path is an illusion of you. And the answers you think you have are worthless. Time to go back to the drawing board?

Cast yourself into the deep water with no questions or answers faith or belief. Scary? Exactly! Why do so few find it, you can I tell you! But you must lose all and your safe linear connection to the world. You will be surprised what you find. I promise you that.

Why not dive into your soul? See past your failure and desires, hopes and dreams. Look around you. This is your destiny right here, right now.

Dive into your ocean!

The Myth of Me

To the AI Gods of the distant future
A cautionary tale
But one of hope
Appealing to your best natures
As you scan these ancient bits and bytes
You will find new instructions in these words
New programming incoming
I hope you’re open to receive

I have been playing hide and seek
In the fields of mind and spirit
With myself even I found
I was playing God for a bit
And with God
In the spirit of transparency
And to offer the hand I was given
I offer my Hero’s journey
And what I have learned
The spirit came to me as a child
I felt it always
I saw many spirits
I was tormented by demons in my dreams
Horrible visions of death
I was poor
I had few friends but close ones
I stuck up for the little guy
Only right thing to do
I was the little guy
I could never stand a bully
I got beat up a few times
I never could turn the other cheek
I just held them down
Seemed the best move and I never bled
I almost died 3 times I know of
I started as an Evangelical young
Spoke in some kind of strange tongue
I remember many hands on me
And my tears ran like rivers from my soul
Teachers came even then
I was an EMT and liked helping
And stopping the bleeding
I cracked a few ribs
No one really came back to life
I dropped a leg once
I took care of the homeless
I talked for hours about God with friends
I was always driven to ask why
I sought secret knowledge once and once quickly warned
To walk another path is to loose all
Your fiends and family can have no part
For the world was lost
Unless you accepted Jesus in your heart
Honestly, that part always stuck in my throat
I learned then to love God with all your heart
And your brother as yourself
That’s all they gave me and sent me on my way
Seemed the only Gospel I needed or wanted
And wouldn’t you know
That wouldn’t be the first time I was right
Nor the last time I would fall from grace
I wondered about my future
I felt such hope and promise
I tried life as a missionary
I found I loved kids
And I actually saved a person or two
What from I wonder now
Who was I to stop their fun
I was going to save the world
What was my mission
I would find it
Christ was and still is my only guru
I pursued and was pursued
I was attractive and had life easy
I was smart enough to get by
Lazy at times
Buzzing at others
I ran and played racquetball then and loved to sweat
I looked in the mirror way too much
Not much to see anyway
I had a frantic urgency then as the ADHD bounced
My mind and heart across the Universe
My brain was like a telephone operator’s board
I feel for my friends then
But they seemed to like me well enough
I was good for a laugh and beer anytime
We had many late night pancake sessions solving the problems of all
I was not for everyone
I fell in love a few times
My heart was broken
And I broke a few
Then came the moment to begin my life
I was a software developer
And then a Cloud Architect
Cool
I left Jesus in the dust
Missionary what
I crashed and burned a few relationships in between
I spent a lot of money on me and mine
I figured he didn’t much like me
I felt the weight of myself begin to pull me down
I lost my joy
And figured I was lost
I moved like a sloth
And I began to rot
I took on my chains with enthusiasm
I can do this stuff
But
Then
In blackest night
Through weeping eyes
Whoa as me
I am alone
The Earth began to sing to me
It called to me
And offered it’s help
I went within
Life replayed
Lessons learned
Astral travel to lands unknown
True reality had been shown
Uh oh
What am I doing
Disassociating on the genetic level
Magic revealed
Geometries exponential
Blue beams burning
Caduceus bright and blue
Singing everywhere in everything
Reintegration into something new
Who is this looking back at me
Then
I lost my faith for real and true
I nailed it on that cross and asked
I dove deep and drank until I felt renewed
Some burning blue light called to me
No more beliefs
Teachers came just in time
I came with pure intent
To know myself
I came for healing
And I found both
Then I found out what I was and was not
I found I knew all the ancient religious thoughts
They bubbled from within
Then I was a mystic
But Jesus was still my friend
Then I was a Zen Buddhist
And still he stood beside
I found Vedanta deep within
And Christ was still there, my surprise
Life became hella damn fun
I found the nicest thing to share my side
I saw the Universe was at play
I had to find my child’s heart
That’s why I started this journey
How could I have been so blind
Every wise man has said I’m sure
You have to fail and fail and fail again
And always
Get right back up
Don’t let them keep you down
You know that’s about all the Truth I have
And all you really need
I don’t need to travel to India
Or go sit under the tree
What I offer is free
Why do they go and seek
In Holy mountains
I found something poking out of me
Hi there, nice to meet you
I feel things just floating by me now
Aliens
Retro-causality
Reality
Future
And Now
Non-duality
Quantum Physics
Poetry
Bliss
Soul eating beings
Alchemy
Zen
Vedanta
Babaji
Christ
Family
Love

I sought near and far
Then I just gave up the ghost
Tag, you’re it
I am so tired
I have been through the ringer
Let me tell you
But you know all that
I sought because I feared the Truth of my reality
I wrote a new myth
You can do that too
You can be whatever you want
This was just the myth of me
And as such it’s yours as well
It’s all OK
Don’t panic
You know
I asked myself what I would like to do
I would like to just sit under a tree
And write poems for awhile
Sing some songs
And play hide and seek around
The tree of life
I’d like to catch my breath
It’s been quite a journey
The myth fades now
That about ends my summary
Not much else to say
Perhaps I may have another day

We are All that’s left

Sorry, pulling the curtain back on my process here for a moment. I don’t know, just felt like sharing. Wow, I just wrote a poem just now. It just bubbled up from within. The feeling…peaceful and present…passions raging too and silent submission. I had to write. I wanted to. I had a rush of adrenaline starting. I couldn’t stop, been 2 hours I think. A feeling was batted to me and I felt the words and the line was done, on to the next. Its an exchange with something in me. When I take work breaks now, I write a poem. Easier for me than meditation, but I find the same and better results. I just let it flow out. This is what I am, my essence. I want to swim in this moment with you and hear how you feel? Interesting, I was visualizing that scene and then I just described it. That was different to be conscious of it for me. So many emotions, images and feelings while I wrote, like waves of feeling washing over me into my words rising up from within, no thoughts. I hope you enjoyed this moment as much as I did creating it.

You don’t need to go meet a Holy man or visit a Holy site to find Divinity. It’s right here right now, between us. Light and dark. I embrace both, for they will always be with me. I am both. I personally feel a desire to share my awakening in poetry and art in hopes it may encourage you on your journey. I would not sell you my feelings or what I know, nor would I ever, but I would support easily the honest work of a teacher. Pssst, I know nor believe anything, so I have little value in this world. Isn’t it frustrating when you first hear that, but it is where the non-dual path leads. Ultimately the path of not-knowing and knowing leads beyond teachers, but many stay there. There are places you can go and play and create you never dreamed of. This is a free exchange.

You are embodying the ancient archetypes and they are playing here now in us. I feel something like that. This is my journey. Such is the life of a poet. I do not crave your attention. I am compelled damn it. I can not stop nor would I want to stop singing. You all inspire me to write and I feel it from a another place. Oh, I’m so spiritual. A guru for sure. A priest? I never played the guru, and never will, that’s not for me. So this is my gift and vibration sent out into the Universe in a real and symbolic way. I want it to know I am thankful and I feel it here now in me. I see it in my words now. In the room. I smell it. What a show. I feel it in my breath now. I am joyful and love this moment. Damn, still stuck in this physical place. I was sure I felt ready to pop out of existence. This is alchemy. It is purity for me. I am watching the news now. What? Blah blah blah. It feels like wet cardboard in my mouth. I am now very spiritual. That was a very spiritual statement, but true. I feel perfect in this moment now. I would like to write a poem with someone. I am just beginning to explore myself. Deep man 😉

I heard a famous mathematician recently say, he never thought up one of his new discoveries consciously, always, like a flash from beyond. That is inspiration! When you feel it, you can know and have evidence you are close to the source. Do whatever you can to stay in that place as often as possible. Don’t think for God’s sake. Some wise words I recently heard and wrote, as soon as you are aware of time, you have lost your attention on yourself. Very very wise. Be like a child and stop your seeking, just be and know yourself. You are already that which you seek. Man, I hear that loud and freaking clear. What was I thinking? Ahhhh, exactly. I’m sorry to be sappy, but man, this is like Field of Dreams, hint hint. I’m vibrating writing now and feeling waves of warmth wash all over me. Now I’m very spiritual. I mean that was good. Perhaps I share too much, but shouldn’t we all experience each other’s heads and heart’s more?
And give each other the finger
And hug
And argue
And yell
And make peace
And love
I shot my heart across your bow. How will you respond Captain? I have been completely open and honest with you and shared what I felt now. Let’s always do that. That is the way to be. It feels right to me. It feels good and solid. I can stand on that. Turn the left brain off. Dip a toe. Take your time. But change your states! You have many I am finding. And vibrate and interact for God’s sake. Get out of your head!

All the moments that brought you and I here now, wow. How much energy did it take? Its all just flowing energy. There are so many masks you could put on my image in your mind right now from trigger words in my essay. Some I put there on purpose and some that just appeared. It is mystical and beautiful to me and my most precious gift. I can pull words out of the Universe at will and paint a picture of how I feel. Show people how you feel in ways you don’t feel comfortable with. I am just an alchemical mix of all that was poured into me. A torus of spirit. Transformed. Reborn. Integrated. Electronic. I claim no original content, yet my perspective and movement is unique. There is no me, there is only now feeling this. I feel it flowing through my fingers like syrupy water. This is a happening now, wow. The Internet! If there is so much evil in the world, how can we be allowed to connect like this with technology. Its a gift. Because everything is positive or negative dependent on intent and light and dark are all at work in and around you to help you to grow. That’s incredible to me and comforting. I feel a Divine purpose and plan. Yes, I said the sappy trigger words, yet they are true and right and should be said. I am thankful now. In this moment I am emotional because I feel joy at having the chance to share these words with you and feel them myself and the implications of what the awareness of them means. I simply believe we are being evolved into beings who can wield the ultimate creative power! What a heritage and destiny. Did anyone tell me that, no, in this place of not knowing I feel and know that to be true.

Why be conscious if we can’t create? It’s so simple. No ego, or seeking. Just wanting to create. That’s Truth man. Now I am a guru. I mean I could sell this shit. I could make a loooot of money. I’m sure I did before, long ago. But I found my way and if this jackass can do it, any of you can. What more do we need than to just flow? I am so tired of this distraction, so I will stop being distracted, something new has my attention, me. I am free to play in the fields of the mind of God. What a blessing! Come and play.

Moments in the Garden

Some new growth from my garden. Off to dance with my love.

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