Witness of Love

I have witnessed the miracle of love today. I am humbled and in love with love. It is not love that must be found, it is us who strays from it. Today love has shown me, anything is possible, where two or more gather in solidarity of heart.

There was a great evil lurking in my family I have wrestled with for years. I became love’s flaming sword in the hand of god. Through courage and righteous anger, it was called out and its head cut off. In the shadow of that sacrifice, courageous acts of love filled the void. Cleaned out the puss and planted seeds sprouted where death and decay had reigned.

I cannot tell anyone the meaning of life. But what I was apart of today, has brought me back to the only meaning I could know. I am a witness of love and forever shall I hold it high in mind and body and never fear the lowly or the lost.

Love in a Blizzard

I had felt myself slowing down like the sap oozing from an old wounded pine with a thousand self inflicted cuts

Life had left its mark on me inside and out and stripped me down to naked red bare skin and had left some bone exposed

When she found me I was suffering from exposure like an old gold miner past his prime freezing in a blizzard fumbling with matches to make a fire

The howling snow had blasted away the sand and dirt that I had used to fill in the cracks in my broken soul and exposed a crying little boy underneath

I had destroyed my old childhood faith and and taken joy telling my family and friends to take their false religion and go to hell before heading into the wild mountains

My heart was raw and sore but open for the first time in my life like an open heart patient on the table fading away in the middle of a blizzard

The words that came from my mouth were honest but my mouth was dry and cracked from the cold and my head ached from a 40 year bender

My only friend left was my old lab with me in the storm who I barely knew and who was still afraid of my anger and wouldn’t come close to me in the storm

She found me there almost dead and led me to her warm cabin in the middle of the woods and she made me some tea and gave me some bread

The Path of Love

One day a bird came and sat with me on the top of a mountain, it whispered in my ear and I could understand it

It told me, the birds have a secret and I will tell you if you give me some water

That seemed a good bargain and I offered it some water and it laughed at me, no no, living water is what I need

So I felt a poem rise in my heart and I sang it to the little bird and it was filled with love and it began to sing

This is what it sang

Anger is moving between human hearts the way love once did, we need your help to sing the song of love in the world

I’m going to teach you a new green language, the language of the birds, the language of love the gods taught us and we teach those who can hear it

You will love the world and help heal it and show others how to love and stop the anger rising in human hearts

You must seek the passageway to the green world and seek the help of the ancients

When you start to see symbols around you and strange movements, you may be close to it

When your heart bubbles with love and verse, you may be close to it

When what you saw as ugly, seems strangely beautiful, you may be close to it

If you come close to death, you may be close to it

When you live breath to breath, you may be close to it

Am I dreaming I asked the bird, and it laughed, we are all dreaming this silly man, remember my song and sing it clear and true

You are close now, close as your breath

Difficult Emotions

emotions

I struggle with anger and difficult emotions at times. When you come close to the Light, it can be confusing to see such strong negative emotions rising up. It’s natural I have found. These emotions, as temperamental children, demand our attention at uncomfortable times. I have been seeking an answer to how to deal with these emotions.

Love is always there, but we are filled with many other things as well. We gain our knowledge from the world. We must live in and experience the world. We need insight and compassion to change ourselves and indeed the world. We ourselves are not the standard, nor is any other person. We can trust our daily experience guided by insight and mindfulness. We need to learn to be mindful enough to let impulses pass.

The Sufi’s have taught me about loving myself. Jesus taught me to love my brother. From The Four Quartets:

Desire itself is movement
Not in itself desirable;
Love is itself unmoving,
Only the cause and end of movement,
Timeless, and undesiring
Except in the aspect of time
Caught in the form of limitation
Between un-being and being.

The Buddhists have been helping me learn compassion as well. I have to be mindful of these difficult feelings. I am challenged to not respond to them, if I do, I quickly stand up and brush myself off.

Mindfulness helps you to become aware of these feelings. We can bear these difficult emotions. To stay present in our anger and difficult emotions is difficult, but awareness of these emotions brings change. If I can see this anger and feelings in myself and let them flow away, I can see it in others and learn to not respond to them as well. I can have compassion. Anger hurts you and your target. I am practicing not reacting to these emotions. It goes slowly.

The Dreamers

On the shoulders of
Great open minds
Who came before
I stand and strain to hear and see

I feel as Wordsworth
A motion and a spirit that impels
I feel the magickal idealism of
Courageous people infecting me

I walk in steps tread long before
I look around in wonder
Read all the pretty words
And hear the song of the human heart

There is a current of knowledge and wisdom
That flows all around us and was gifted to us
I withhold my stamp on the world
And am quiet to allow the deeper pattern to emerge

I feel destiny
And the responsibility and hopes
Of a thousand ancient hands
At my back

The Ancestors speak to me
And instill
A knowing that their sacrifice was
Not in vain

There is fear in the world
There is anger in the world
There is covetousness and jealousy too
There is murder of the innocent

But there is love and sacrifice in this world

There is beauty in the world
There is hope and courage in the world
There is Light and Truth
There is a bounty to harvest

In separation
In rending
In suffering
Love knows it’s depth

I will add my part
To the ancient myths and songs
And dream with you of
Our best future

Temperature Rising

The blood of the Syrians flow with the martyrs
Cries and pain forever silenced
Only tears and prayers
Peace for them now

Hatred on every corner HOMOS! FAGS!
Righteous anger or fear from below
I don’t know their God but I can smell their fear
We are all the same inside and out

Fears in the back of our skulls itching
The stock market plunging
Our strings pulled by the Master Puppeteers
Have no faith in meaningless things

Ancient fury raging
Senseless being
Horrible slaughter
Eternity in our hearts

I’ll tell you a secret
So simple anyone can know
Burn the liars on the pyres
And think for yourself

Fear not
A blazing knight comes
On a perfect white horse
No cliche

Sing a new song
A song of love and peace
Shine in the darkness denying its grasp
Hold up the standard

For the sake of one
A city may be saved
There is nothing but life
It will continue

When a stranger is in need
Give with all your heart
When the anger rises
Leave it with the sunset

Be true to yourself and love with abandon
Now there is nothing to fear
Don’t hate be love
You don’t need a teacher

Know Thyself