Gate of Fear

I have arrived at my limit
The edge of my capacities
My mind can move no faster
My heart can carry no further burden

If I be one kind of person
Here I stop and take my rest
If I be another kind of person
I will find a way to outsmart my limits

The Seven of Wands has fallen
It challenges me to race with myself
I must run my personal best
And transcend what blocks and inhibits

The great gate threatens
And ominously stands
Blocking my way
The fears and spooks crowd in now

They tickle the back of my mind
Any step I attempt to make
They suggest I turn back
But I must go forward boldly and surely

To rise above the pack
Takes an unconquerable spirit
But how many battles have I lost
How ever can I find the strength now

Mars commands me
It is not whether but when
It is not why but how
Rise up you lazy bag of bones

You have found the seven ways to win
It is no longer theory
For knowledge and wisdom
Have set upon their thrones

Cabala means secret or hidden
I keep no secrets, nor hide a thing
I will give as much knowledge possible
To anyone who shows up

It’s all an illusion, it’s just in your mind
It’s all an illusion, it’s just in your mind
It’s all an illusion, be clever be kind
It’s all an illusion, be clever be kind

Birds in the Storm

Birds huddle close behind the tree
Sheltering from the storm’s fierce breeze
Cold winds howl and rain beats down
But they are safe, under the tree’s leafy crown

Their feathers ruffled, but unafraid
They wait for the tempest to fade
Nature’s symphony in full swing
The birds wait for another day to sing

The branches sway, a natural dance
The birds endure and await their chance
The storm may rage, but they are wise
Nature provides through her green guise

When the sky clears, they’ll take flight
But for now, they rest tight
In the safety of the green
The birds pray to our great Queen

Fill Your Cup

Earth is a place of joy and strife
Where spirits can soar or slither
Some find nourishment in love and life
Others see their spirits eaten and wither

From the mountains to the rolling hills
From the oceans to the fields of grain
This planet has so many thrills and beauty
But it can also bring great pain

For some, the Earth is a sanctuary
A place of peace and harmony
For others, it can be a battlefield
Where their spirits are crushed, you see

So let us be mindful of our surroundings
And do our best to lift each other up
For on this Earth, our spirits are bounding
And it is our choice to fill our cups

With love and light, or fear and doubt
The choice is ours, let’s make it right
For on this Earth, our spirits can sprout
Let’s tend to them and take flight

—smelly goat

Even Stars Die

Death, the great unknown, the final mystery, the end of all our earthly struggles, the cessation of our history.

But is it truly the end, or just a new beginning, a transition to another plane, a chance for the soul to sing?

For death is not a tragedy, but a natural part of life, a chance to be released from pain, and end all earthly strife.

So let us embrace death’s sweet kiss, and trust in its loving embrace, for it is only through death’s door, that we find our final resting place.

—smelly goat 🐐

I’ve Got The Music In Me

I ran from love terrified
Until I could go no further
There I collapsed…finished
But I heard something
In my dirt filled ears
Lying in the land of the dead
It was the softest music at first
Like nothing I had ever heard before
Slowly I began to feel the tug of gravity
Suddenly it lifted me up up up
Out of the dirt
All the way into the big endless sky
Suddenly clouds of dark matter split wide
A golden light
Unlike anything I had ever seen
Shot right through me
I felt love in every cell screaming
Love had raised me from the dead
Then I heard thunderous words
Echoing from everywhere at once

NOTHING COULD EVER SEPARATE YOU FROM MY ❤️

Then I heard every cell
In me singing
I found the music
Was always in me
I just never heard it
Like Apollo singing
Through the underworld
Nothing can touch me now
I’ve got the music in me

Deep Woods

Dive into the Mystery “Natura naturans…”

Lay down all you know

Take flight upon the dark wings of love

Behold Nature’s sheer fecundity and vitality

Drink deeply from her spring

Know the rapture of the Deep Woods

Hear the ancient music on the hills

Explore Nature’s uncanny ravines

Encounter maenades and goatbrides

Behold the terrifying Otherness

dirty dishes

there is something in me yearning

wanting to break things

to be free

making connections I can’t imagine

X

a portal…

everything around me seems totally solid one second

the next, it appears to shimmer transparently

like a gossamer dress

something tells me…let go

i want to knock all the pieces off the table 

mix it all up

rearrange things

knock around

be a punk

quit it all and wreck it

build it up again

chaos has a hand on my shoulder

an angel on the other

i feel my whole soul

as the world hurls into chaos

i feel myself moving with it

it feels dangerous 

part of me loves it

another piece is terrified

people collecting awards for acting 

what a con

what a joke

people acting holy and appearing pure 

insides filled with black tar

so many pretty faces 

so much ugly pain

one realizes they have to take the beauty where they can find it

dwell with it 

be in it

will that keep all the tar away

all the uglies 

no, we dwell within the ruins 

i don’t know why I say these things 

why I should feel so split

crazy perhaps 

mad

mad for life

mad for death

mad for LOVE

Love Tears Me Open

I woke up tonight after a dark dream. 

I couldn’t sleep and the Lion told me to offer myself as a lamb to itself. It said it is all that is moving. It told me love kills. To take my small flame I have cultivated and merge it with the only real 🔥 

And I wrote this with some help from my friends…

“Love is like the lion’s tooth.” —W.B. Yeats

I’ll tell you a secret about love
  Life is love and love is life
  A riddle and plainly known

I’ll tell you a secret about love
  You can cultivate your little flame
  But love will kill you when you come close

I’ll tell you a secret about love
  Though love may slay you as a lamb
  You shall be raised up a lion

—smelly goat

“You that come to birth and bring the mysteries, your voice-thunder makes us very happy.  Roar, lion of the heart, and tear me open!” – Rumi

Only now do I realize I have prepared myself as an offering to the Lion. 

The Ruins of Love

Sufi Pt 1 Lyrics…

My secret beloved
Send me a secret message
Give me your soul
Give me your life

Wander like a drifter
Now on a journey

Walk into this fire embrace
Be like a salamander
Come into a source of flame
Fire transmutes to a rosebud

Don’t you know that my thought
Is better than the queen of roses?
Don’t you know my heresy
Is the essence of spirituality?

Then surrender your spirt
Surrender your life
For God I know
That darkness is better than a cage!

Walk into this fire embrace
Be like a salamander
Come into a source of flame
Fire transmutes to a rosebud

Don’t you know that my thought
Is better than the queen of roses?
Don’t you know my heresy
Is the essence of spirituality?

Then surrender your spirt
Surrender your life

For God I know
That darkness is better than a cage!

I know a palace is better than a ruin
And the owl in this world
Loves to live
In the ruins of love

I am always learning how to read better between the lines of language and life. Words are just representations. Of what, is the mystery. They are magick in a way. Evoking and caging sometimes something in us. I’ve practiced Zen now for a bit, this is the essence of Zen, to know our true nature where we are, nothing more, nothing less. 

I know a palace is better than a ruin
And the owl in this world

Loves to live
In the ruins of love

I studied these lyrics a bit years ago and meditated deeply on what is said and not said. I looked into the Sufi path and what they meant by flame and the beloved. I am not trying to be clever here, but I have felt all the deities are within us, drawn to the light/flame, as we are a shadow, a portal to the nameless faceless. The owl, in this world, loves to live in the ruin of love. I choose not to name or make distinctions. The deity is the one who I point at, when I point back at myself. This is cutting to the root. This is going headless. This is directly perceiving beyond words. 

I love Rumi, but I really know Shams, who was behind Rumi. Somehow I feel Shams is close to me and represents my secret beloved. He showed me to let the distinctions go. 

A life without love is of no account. Don’t ask yourself what kind of love you should seek, spiritual or material, divine or mundane, eastern or western…divisions only lead to more divisions. Love has no labels, no definitions. It is what it is, pure and simple. Love is the water of life. And a lover is a soul of fire! The universe turns differently when fire loves water.”

–Shams Of Tabriz

“The universe turns differently when fire loves water.”

That’s a koan. 

When I listened to this song first, I felt the flame 🔥 inside me leap. Yearning for freedom. I felt it. I felt like crying and laughing at the same time. Fire loves water.

Rumi said sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment, that’s got to be one of my favorite written poetic lines.

I think the lyrics point to the freeing of the flame within us, which is always free. This awareness transmutes us, by realizing our lives are not cages, that we are already free. This is the real Alchemy. This returns us to Eden. The world of matter is a ruin in away, a compromise, in between chaos and light.

Somehow it can know itself better in the ruin, but this world is a sham. It is not that the flame 🔥  needs escape, but that it simply is uncovered. 

The water is all around us, love is not the flame, it is the water, which the flame is attracted to. We would think flame fears water, and perhaps it does for awhile, then it seeks to dowse itself in love. When fire loves water, the universe turns differently.

If the bird can get just a glimpse of what is around it and within it, instantly it is transmuted and free. So the body is the cage. 

This awareness does not make me want to fly away, it deepens my connection, Aslan, there is no where else to go, here we are. Allah is clothed by rational thought, occulted by matter, but known through awareness. The lion. In Hebrew, 

Aslan means ‘satan‘ which means ‘lucifer/first light in the morning’ which means ‘daybreak’. The circle is closed around the point, the central sun. Everything is contained within the circle. 

⭕️

I could not always see with my real eyes 👀 I was in a cage. But I embraced the prison and it opened to Eden through my heart, to the point, naked singularity. I can’t show anyone, I can’t really tell anyone, but like knows like. We can point to it. We can sing 🎶  about it. We can dance 💃 around it. Flame 🔥 joins with 🔥 And we embrace water 💧 seemingly a crazy thing for a flame to do, and then the universe turns differently for us.I was withering in my life 10 years ago, dying. But a great wind blew through me. It lifted me high into the air and brought me face to face with the ☀️ Our source, itself only a representation. Like words, all form is just a representation.

 What appeared to trap me, turned to dust and I flew for the first time. 

But I returned, and now I rest here, in the center of it all. I rest in the chaos, in the center of my life. I feel the heat, which is behind all form and I love it, for this is loving and knowing myself. I saw what was behind all esoteric and what was occulted, what was behind all religious and secular symbols.

Where you gonna go?

Where you gonna hide from love?

The morning light dawned inside me. 

I don’t cry anymore.
I’m smiling 😊and laughing with joy.
I feel Aslan within me, laying on the savannah, roaring within. This is the true path to god/love, an ever present connection, it ends where it began, full circle. I drink deeply now from this ocean, I could hardly believe it was real. I was dying because I was thirsting for this love, but terrified of it. This never dies. Anywhere this light breaks into the world, matter forms around it, cults form, religions are born. The matter longs to connect with it or naturally is attracted to it. So we have the planets rotating around the outer sun, as what is inside us rotates around the inner sun.

Bound by gravity. 

Bound together by love. 

Sometimes I do cry 😭 because it is too damn beautiful to contain. 

I weep blood into the dirt through my cries and words.

The birds are returning.

All deity reflects love. 

All deity seeks to free us.

We are only held back through this egoic force. 

In Rumi’s allegories, amongst the free birds, the Owl and the Falcon represent the two primary options once one is freed from the cage. The Owl lives in the dark, far from civilization, only relating with its own kind, whereas the Falcon rests upon the arm of the king, staying close to the power source and maintaining his relations and connection with any and all who venture to the court. The Falcon holds a pure, open vision, flying during the day and returning to his master’s arm at night, while the Owl lives in seclusion, coming out in the dark, lost without the guidance of a master. The Falcon represents a follower who has fallen off track, one who has insight but has pointed it in a skewed direction. Falcon as an exemplary option working in contrast with the Owl who has lost his way after enlightenment.

For Rumi, the last and most powerful bird is the Phoenix, a bird so exquisite it nearly plays the role of God himself. The Phoenix is rare, and when sighted acts as an omen, serving the purpose of reminding humans to stay in awe of God’s power. The Phoenix reminds one to soak up moments with the divine because they may be fleeting and far between. The Phoenix is quite likely an unreal creature and therefore its existence can only rely on faith. The Phoenix reminds us to have faith even when we cannot see it, to hold God close and be open to any help He may have to offer us because He is always there.

The pagan and the religious and secular all experience life differently perhaps but rotate around the same source, are of the same stuff. 

The fire is the force, the purpose, the will, that pushes us through life. 

The bird knows the way back. 

I can’t judge the paths others take in life, but I can see the intensity of the 🔥 within them. I call out to it in others. Tempt them to let it break free, as they tempt me. Passion reminds us of this contact with the unseen, it celebrates it in whatever form it burns. 

All words can provide guidance, but no answers ultimately. I feel that we all must search for the things that we love and feel passionately about and then follow them until death do us part.

I hope all can come to know this freedom.

Wanna Know What I Know

Sweet LOVE

You will have to burn for it

I fooled myself into love
I have passed through
The gates of fire
Into eternal Love

No one can touch it
There is no sympathy here
No secrets
Just incredible radiant

LOVE

In all directions
I could burn in its blue flame

for eternity

I met the Devil in me
The only place to find it
And it took my measure and
It set me on fire when I asked

Why

All I heard was laughing
As I burned in agony
But the flesh needed
To burn away

What a gift that Devil gave me

Freedom

That Devil was Love

You want to know
The meaning of it all

Then burn for it

I dare you

Let it all BURN

Don’t fool yourself

This is not evil

Oh no

This is the secret

No one will tell you

You Must BURN