I AM a Human Being

Not that anyone asked or needs to know, but know who you are reading.

A human being.

“I will govern my life and thoughts as if the whole world were to see the one and read the other, for what does it signify to make anything a secret to my neighbor, when to God, who is the searcher of our hearts, all our privacies are open?”

—Seneca the Younger

I am no nihilist.

I am no atheist.

I am no agnostic.

I am no believer.

I am no mystic.

I am no Angel.

I am no spy.

I am no Demon.

I am a human being.

I move swiftly, like 💨 and 🔥

Seneca the Younger spoke against the folk religion of the common people. But he had a deep sense of the invisible mover of our Will, God. Choose your name. Let us call it the original human religion.

I do not deny the invisible hand in my life, truly, I credit it with creating my will and body. I do not preach about this god. I reflect on the beauty of it in my life. I cannot teach this god. I cannot reveal this god to you. I cannot name it, nor do I claim it. Nor do I feel myself more special than any other. But I know this as I know my breath. Both mysterious in a way and profoundly beautiful. I am not so arrogant to imagine myself god’s special creation. This is all special and wonderful and beautiful and the ugly is beautiful too in a way. God itself can correct me through my clear burning Will, but no human could.

To know your Will, is to know the face of God.

I practice the first and only true religion.

It has no prophecies.

It has no priests or priestesses.

Zeus himself showed me.

Being a Human Being.

Love in a Blizzard

I had felt myself slowing down like the sap oozing from an old wounded pine with a thousand self inflicted cuts

Life had left its mark on me inside and out and stripped me down to naked red bare skin and had left some bone exposed

When she found me I was suffering from exposure like an old gold miner past his prime freezing in a blizzard fumbling with matches to make a fire

The howling snow had blasted away the sand and dirt that I had used to fill in the cracks in my broken soul and exposed a crying little boy underneath

I had destroyed my old childhood faith and and taken joy telling my family and friends to take their false religion and go to hell before heading into the wild mountains

My heart was raw and sore but open for the first time in my life like an open heart patient on the table fading away in the middle of a blizzard

The words that came from my mouth were honest but my mouth was dry and cracked from the cold and my head ached from a 40 year bender

My only friend left was my old lab with me in the storm who I barely knew and who was still afraid of my anger and wouldn’t come close to me in the storm

She found me there almost dead and led me to her warm cabin in the middle of the woods and she made me some tea and gave me some bread

Burn 🔥 The Boats

Everything I write these days is meant to inspire self expression and individuation, for myself first.

Write openly about yourself to be yourself.

When you’re young, you think you have all the answers.

As you age, you realize, really, you have none.

The best people I have come across, have a single burning 🔥 purpose…

To live their best life and point others to the same in spite of all resistance and circumstance inside and outside, which are the same.

If you look into the past, you find every generation hoping the future generations do better than they did.

The great people in my opinion, have a common theme in their expressions, love this life and earth and be worthy of it.

“The writer of these lines has nothing whatsoever to teach anyone; his words are just his contribution to our common discussion of what must inevitably be for us the most important subject which could be discussed by sentient beings.”

—Wei Wu Wei

“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself and that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with eternity.”

—The Alchemist

“Don’t be concerned with other people’s impressions of you. They are dazzled and deluded by appearances. Stick with your purpose. This alone will strengthen your will and give your life coherence.”

—Epictetus

I have one burning 🔥 purpose, to live the best life possible and inspire others to the same, have a great one!

“A burning purpose attracts others who are drawn along with it and help fulfill it.”

— Margaret Bourke-White

Burn 🔥 the boats!

Only one way through life now.

Straight on til morning.

strange tides

moon shows

ocean slows

heart flows

mind blows

body glows

daimon knows

8-28-21 Smelly News and Weather Report

“Life is not an accident.” —Morpheus 

Today’s Weather…

– The Northern California air is heavy with smoke today. It’s 82F with sun and haze. Today will be partly sunny, high of 100F, low of 64F. I’ve seen better days. But this one is fine.

In Smelly News…

– Northern California is burning 

🔥

 It is a cleansing fire. Dream homes have burned is all. Wood 🪵  fuel has burned is all. I burn, slow burn. Smell of smoke is in the air. 

– There is more corruption popping up everywhere now in our fallen politics, out of our delusional fear. Corruption abounds. Yet, as all that is temporary falls away, what we are, remains. Castoffs, a mote in God’s eye. This process of living has altered consciousness. 

– I work with electric self driving cars in the dream. I’m here to do the work and I’m doing it. I help train deep learning algorithms to recognize objects and respond. I move massive amounts of data around. Humans are very clever. My approach is a minimal one to support the work, just enough planning. What I am good it is making progress in chaos. Emotions overwhelm logic and reason. How would you program this? Do we want thinking machines with new emotions? If cars had emotion, would they be depressed? Kaizen, continuous improvement, is my way through this. Improve anything I touch and I do. I have a team now I have been building over last 4 months. This has been a new chapter in my own small life and I give joyfully and freely to my team and they respond with their best. AI needs conditioning and training. As do people. It takes practice to be good. To be great? It takes heart. Show me the algorithm for this. I dare you. Ironic while the world burns, I am doing my best work. 

“I know this because I just know, it is my purpose.” —The Keymaster

Today’s poetry…

“I dreamed a dream . . . but now that dream is gone from me.” 

—Daniel 2:3

3 Part Harmony

I keep my dreams to myself…

I can’t show you my source

But I can speak from my heart

Touched by deepest dark 

Aflame with the blue of love

Source of all true

My heart is full of love for thee

Truly

You want to know my depths

Know this 

It comes at you 

As a song in 3 part harmony

My heart is full of love for thee

Truly

Foolish am I 

Chaotic beast 

Tragic 

But I have glimpsed my Light

My sweetness 

The knower and lover of my heart

The holy consumer of my love

I am glad to be consumed by thee

My heart is full of love for thee

Truly

My scrumptious morsel of beauty 

Bitter and sweet 

Divine

the poet drinks by moonlight

with the grey ghosts

with red eyes

until he pukes

he spits and cusses

at the birds

he pisses anywhere

he feels to leak

he kicks down doors 

seeking the face of his god

denying his existence

with venomous word

and dead thought

he shoots for the stars

anywhere he can find a vein

he wastes away

in a green haze

you seen god

he’s the flasher

on the corner

the priest who is waiting

the killer stalking prey

the deer shot in the heart

what fool would 

chase his own ass

the donkey wants 

the carrot 

not until he stops

does it swing his way

then a bus hits him

one day the poetic bum

fell down hard

laying there in the grass

a child sang a song

a flower bloomed

dogs barked

and for once 

the poet truly saw

through bloodshot eyes

and a bitchin headache

how much he hated life

how much he hated that song

when would it all stop

this is the best it gets

the way is no way

when you try to leave

you always arrive again

the poet drinks by moonlight 

and always ends up where 

he last felt his heart beat

Love Terrible

I know so little of Love, but I have awoken from my ignorance in the Heart of Love.

It is not a peaceful lake always. She is also a raging tempest, behold her power, it is terribly awesome!

All that dies in the flames is my ignorance.

Love has stalked me through my life, but I have run and hid from Love.

It wanted one thing and would not let me rest until it had it…my sadness.

My heart has broken open and this is good.

A bird stopped by and sang me Gibran’s song to Love…

“When love beckons to you, follow him,

Though his ways are hard and steep.

And when his wings enfold you yield to him.

Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.

And when he speaks to you believe in him,

Though his voice may shatter your dreams

as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.

Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun.

So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.

He threshes you to make you naked.

He sifts you to free you from your husks.

He grinds you to whiteness.

He kneads you until you are pliant;

And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure.

Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor.

Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;

For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.”

And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:

To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.

To know the pain of too much tenderness.

To be wounded by your own understanding of love;

And to bleed willingly and joyfully.

To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;

To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;

To return home at eventide with gratitude;

And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips”

Flowers

Cut from the womb

Like a flower from its roots

We begin to fade

Into beautiful oblivion

A screaming ride

Or a gentle glide

Most beautiful close

To our rebirth

Into the Sky

As a freebird

We stretch

For that last

Ray of Sunlight

Enjoy our last Moon

Before we are drawn home

Into the original womb

The Black Sun

As above

So below

As within

So without

Oh to know

How beautiful

All these flowers

As they are

In the Eternal Now

The Atoms Are Dancing

Atoms dance
Making fun
Of Love

——-

Samadhi…when all your atoms move with the Cosmos like a flock of birds. You know it when you feel it.

Illusions…every word.

I awoke to hear a line from a poem I never read…”the atoms are dancing”. Of all the things God could say…it’s first words to me were that.

This is my moment, the one you start laughing and never stop. Rumi seems to have had the same thought.

Imagine that.

Poem of the Atoms

O’ day, arise!
shine your light,
the atoms are dancing

Thanks to him the universe is dancing,
overcome with ecstasy,
free from body and mind

I’ll whisper in your ear where their dance is leading them

All the atoms in the air and in the desert are dancing,
puzzled and drunken to the ray of light,
they seem insane

All these atoms are not so different than we are,
happy or miserable,
perplexed and bewildered

We are all beings in the ray of LIGHT from The Beloved,

Nothing can be said