I don’t make many waves anymore
But lately I been feelin this itch
I can’t explain it
It feels like summer
It feels like winter
It feels like fall
It feels like…springtime
Funny thoughts rise up
Words come
Feelings groove along
They flow and taste bubbly red with sparkles
Sometimes I feel salty tears
Leaking from my eyes
I feel laughter erupting from my lungs
I feel and hear my heart beating
I feel so alive
Something whispers…
This is what a human being is
Don’t forget
But you are not just a human being it whispers
You are an ocean of stars
And all those stars are connected
Each finds their place
I found something it seems
In all this chaos that made it real
I found a love I am not worthy of
I found a golden eyed girl who loves me
She makes me feel like the sky is kissing me
She loved me when I didn’t love myself
Her smile makes me feel stars
Before I found love
I left my head on the road
I left this nation behind
I left my faith on the road
I let my name go
I forgot my face
I lost my family
They turned away from me
They cast out their sweet son and brother
I had a huge wipeout and then two
Then three then the Tao
I felt the force behind the waves
I found this rhythm inside me
Something wonderful
Something so filled with light
All else faded into black
All my doubts just flew away
Like bluebirds
I almost faded into black too
But as my mind was dissolving
And I got all wobbly and such
And began to dissapear
A hand from nowhere reached out
And it steadied me
Then it pointed to this mountain
And I heard on the wind
Go there
Go there
Go there
But there was no path or road
So I made a path
But I got lost so quick
And then I came upon a forest
So dark and deep
It felt like the bluest blue
And like the darkest night
And it seemed like monsters were everywhere
And they were going to eat me
Then something called to me on the wind again
This way
This way
This way
Before I knew it
I was out of the blue woods
Heading toward a snowy topped mountain
The past feels forever ago now
I made friends along the way
I let them see through me
No apologies
Most turned away
But some came close
So close we could almost
See into each other’s hearts
I love to see people become
I really do
I love to see them find their groove
I really do
I was lost once too
Like all the rest
But now wherever I am
I’m never lost
But all those years ago
I was a fool living for nothing
But I found something
I found…no one is true or right
There is no set path
I found…within myself
Deep mystery
Now I have no creed
Now I have no name
But I am a citizen now of a golden city
All of humanity lives there
I don’t remember how I got here
The wind reminds me
This is where all human beings live
Those who were and are and will be
A city my ancestors built
Something sees me now
Where I felt alone before
Now something is here with me
Something lets me know
This journey to the big mountain is worth it
Somehow I know this
Something lets me know
You will not fail again
And I won’t
I won’t quit
I won’t stop
What does it all mean
I wish I could tell you
I wish I could take away
All the pain and doubt
I wish I could make the way clear
But how would that help anyone
I am someone worthy I found
I am someone who will not steal from you
I am someone who will not stab you in the back
I may even show you my flowers
I have not found the mountain yet
But I won’t ever stop trying to get there
I see it a good ways off in the distance still
Let me get back to it
I got some walking to do
—smelly
Quantum Heart 