Behold, Your Daimon

Where does great inspiration and expression come from?

What force drives the madman and great artist or athlete?

Now hold on here, what am I talking about.

Some cannot speak or look inside themselves.

They are storms on earth.

This is a force inside of us, but not our ego.

The Daimon/Daemon is a shapeshifter. 

Part of your mind you can’t pin down. 

You have to feel and think what it feels and thinks. 

It’s like a storm.

We have erected social hedges against it. 

It is like a volcanic eruption. 

Not rational. 

The Daimon feels what nature wants to do through you. 

It is nature in you. 

It told Socrates what not to do, not what to do. 

I listen to my daimon. 

I have seen and communicated with it in many ways.

It is will. 

Fate.

An impersonal force for some. 

Some can integrate it. 

You have to negotiate.

It can punish you and doesn’t care to keep you safe. 

You can give it too much. 

You can surrender to it. 

Hitler followed his nonstop. 

Trump follows his Daimon without question. 

There is no introspection, which is its weakness.

It is not a force of good, it is a force of nature. 

It is immoral, neutral. 

If you don’t think you have one, you are a fool and a muppet. 

A blind robot. 

The ego can negotiate with it, mediates it. 

You don’t delete your ego!

God no!

Daimon does what it does. 

It is what it is.

Your effectiveness depends on your own quality and strength around your will.

I am constantly negotiating with it. 

Don’t surrender to it. 

Don’t ignore it. 

You make yourself irrelevant to deny this force. 

You have to dance and wrestle with it. 

Use your ego’s moral discernment. 

Only you can mediate it.

Honor it. 

You have to eat and work and get along. 

It doesn’t want your best. 

It wants to move through you. 

I have listened often to my Daimon and jumped when it pushed.

It creates psychic disease and physical. 

It makes you into a ufo nutcase. 

Or a conspiracy nutcase. 

Or a trump zombie. 

That is a group consciousness.

You become mindless. 

Doing the bidding of pure will.

Pretty crazy move to go all in with it.

But I did.

It can posses you.

It is Legion.

You can reason with it but it is not reasonable.

You can create a space the Daimon sees when one is open to it. 

You have to acknowledge it and give it space. 

This is part of you, but not you. 

Nature doesn’t change if you don’t understand.

The storm will always be there. 

It has tremendous power. 

Tremendous!

It loves to be acknowledged and given space.

The trickster. 

You have to sharpen your inner hearing.

I was quite amazed to meet it. 

In every psychedelic trip, it is there.

In your dreams you are always meeting it.

You can come to feel its feelings and thoughts.

To give it voice is to sing like the stars.

I speak of forbidden things and forgotten dreams.

I write with my Daimon and make art with it.

It is life. 

It flows in everything.

Once you see it, you can never go back.

Wisdom becomes a curse in away.

We are innocent for only a whsiper of time.

It is guiding us, even into a wall.

Schopenhauer knew it well, when he said, the Will is blind. 

Guide it, focus it and you will go far.

Ignore it at your peril.

Vision and Power

The Destiny of a Human Being is to confront fear.

You have everything you need to do so.

Two are made one within you.

Wander and seek until you find, then rest.

I can tell you from experience, this is the way.

The way of no way.

Once you know the I AM as you, you will go beyond the I AM into the Absolute, where all is then available to you.

I had to face the worst and most evil in myself and in my family.

I had to expel my hatred and anger.

It was the hardest thing I have had to do.

Enacting your will is the only thing that grants you power.

When you have come to the beginning, you will come to the end.

“The life of a person is a circle.
From childhood to childhood.
So it is with everything where power moves.
When a vision comes from the Thunder beings of the west,
it comes with terror, like a Thunderstorm.
But when the storm of the vision has passed,
the world is greener and happier.
For wherever the truth of vision comes upon the world, it is like a rain.
The world you see is happier after the terror of the storm.
It is not enough to have a vision. In order to have its power,
you must enact your vision on earth for all to see.

Only then do you have the power.”

–Black Elk on his Vision Quest

Only then.

Love in a Blizzard

I had felt myself slowing down like the sap oozing from an old wounded pine with a thousand self inflicted cuts

Life had left its mark on me inside and out and stripped me down to naked red bare skin and had left some bone exposed

When she found me I was suffering from exposure like an old gold miner past his prime freezing in a blizzard fumbling with matches to make a fire

The howling snow had blasted away the sand and dirt that I had used to fill in the cracks in my broken soul and exposed a crying little boy underneath

I had destroyed my old childhood faith and and taken joy telling my family and friends to take their false religion and go to hell before heading into the wild mountains

My heart was raw and sore but open for the first time in my life like an open heart patient on the table fading away in the middle of a blizzard

The words that came from my mouth were honest but my mouth was dry and cracked from the cold and my head ached from a 40 year bender

My only friend left was my old lab with me in the storm who I barely knew and who was still afraid of my anger and wouldn’t come close to me in the storm

She found me there almost dead and led me to her warm cabin in the middle of the woods and she made me some tea and gave me some bread

Fear Falling, Courage Rising

“Courage is the mother of all virtues because without it, you cannot consistently perform the others.”

—Aristotle

Courage is not dead in me yet. I am thankful for that. It lives in individuals. Like a Lion waiting to move. But one can’t really know if courage will be there when needed until they are tested. Truly, we fear our own weakness most. Nothing and I mean nothing can replace experience. Courage is one of the 4 Stoic virtues. Courage is the ability to exert one’s will in the face of risk. Aristotle said that the highest risk was death and that the most courageous man was the one that acted fearlessly in the face of death.

I recently faced my own death, twice in a month. I can’t say I was fearless. But something arose inside me. Something I haven’t known very well, my will. I pushed myself forward beyond my fear and it was a catalyzing experience. Do what is necessary when it is necessary. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn’t. One day, it won’t.

Why not give all you have to what you do? In your relationships. In your work. In your play. What are you saving your fear for? Fear is a corrective and it can be a poison. Honestly, I didn’t know I had much courage left in me. I have been reckless with my life and opportunities at times. But I have cultivated my focus and it paid off when I needed it to. The feeling of possible death feels like falling off a ladder from a 1000 feet up. You are totally alone and feel powerless. It is humbling, but necessary to know how life is like balancing on a pin. One day I will fall off and that’s how it will be. The one thing we can know for sure in life.

Don’t go looking for trouble, but when it comes, be ready. Until death and I meet again, I’ll smile like I mean my life. Every second of it. Success is just the next breath, the rest is gravy. Yum.

The Gates Are Open No. 2

In the deepest dark of the Abyss, I sought my escape. 

I heard someone say, “There is no way back unless you find your light.”

No way back unless I find my light?

💡


Hmmmm.

Sounded like some New Age bullshit to me. 

I heard someone say, “If you want to come and see me, you can do so from any and every direction, all the gates are open, there is no concealment. In fact it is ‘All Gate’ and nothing else!”

What a strange thing to say in the middle of the dark. 

When the dark is all around you, what direction should you go?

There is no direction in the dark.

The separation had existed in my mind only. 

I was already that which I had sought.

I was the prison and I was the free bird.

And then I was home again, just like that.

There was a great celebration. 

Everyone came to greet me and we all laughed and laughed until my stomach hurt. Like when you have had too much sweet candy.

And I thought to myself…what a strange dream 😴 😴 😴

Other

What moves the world

Away from fear and greed

Toward compassion for the other

Only ourselves because…

We know loneliness

We know doubt

We know fear

We know pride

We know anxiety

From here…

We can stop searching

We can find patience

We can take a breath

We can take a step back

We can see the Self in the Other

Compassion is always the best choice

the star falls

A man sets out to draw the world. As the years go by, he peoples a space with images of provinces, kingdoms, mountains, bays, ships, islands, fishes, rooms, instruments, stars, horses, and individuals. A short time before he dies, he discovers that that patient labyrinth of lines traces the lineaments of his own face.

— Jorge Luis Borges

once upon a time there was an old star who had thought it had seen everything…

one day it spied with its timeless eye a small blue gem…

what is this new thing covered in blue water…

suddenly, without warning, the star began to fall…

faster and faster…smaller and smaller…until he could fit on the head of pin…

blackness…and then there was light…a bright wet light…

no memory of who he used to be and was still yet up there in the sky…

one day a bird was heard singing by the Hu-Man boy…

but that is another poem for another time…

many adventures await the Hu-Man…

fly you fools

Tears of God

I felt god crying 

Surrounded by all this beauty

Isn’t it a pity

What I feel 

I can’t say

Who am I 

Without you 

By my side

I give my love

From every point of view

I’ll try my best

To make everything succeed

Who am I 

Without you 

By my side

What is my my life…

Who could I be without you

Always have you been by my side

My life is nothing without you

…inspired by George Harrison almost word for word. I only wrote the first line.

Really, who can be original anymore?

You need roooooomm.

You need to slooooooooooowwwwwww down.

There you go…now clap.

Nice….

Have you ever felt god crying?

Why yes you have my dears….

You and I are Her tears…

Darkness

nothing now here
or over there
in darkness clear
have no fear
no death in night
when love shines so bright

Food For the Moon

image

I just read a story about a man who was killed in an avalanche following his passions on Mt. Everest.  You never know when one of those is coming for you. He seemed driven by a deep need to connect with something. I understand that feeling of emptiness. He climbed the world’s highest peaks to fill it. I seek to climb those internal peaks men have dreamed of. Rest in peace Dan.

I want to share a summary of sorts of my experiences with The Tarot. It kind of just presented itself to me after 44 years without one passing thought about it in all that time. It was something gypsies ripped people off with I thought. Little did I know.

I will not go into it more now, but The Tarot is a mystical tool, like the coins of the I Ching, or bones of the medicine man. The cards make a web you can cast out into the Universe to get your current bearing in time and space.

The Tarot helped me attain self knowledge, it helped me learn why I did what I did and also hinted at what is possible for one to become. More than anything it showed me simply what I was. I found ways to let go of regret and desire and see myself honestly. I used the cards as a mirror and I looked at the pictures and felt the words at that given moment and time and sifted myself through the filter of the cards. It helped me grow rapidly using the cards spontaneously and creatively. It showed me the need for balance between the Sun and Moon, Anima and Animus. We live in between these polarities.

It led me to an experience with myself and embracing myself as a Shaman and Mystic. Who knew? The cards aligned so well with my personal esoteric studies and writing and synchronicity made it all real. I’m an experiencer and a gambler, but I learned there need be no gambling.

Life is a mystery and love is the way to understand it. The rest seems to work itself out naturally if you let it.

I found two causes for my suffering, or I should say the Tarot clarified these. It suggested I embrace my life in the world and pay attention. I came to it in deep mediation and wide open with few questions, factors I learned that can contribute to deep insights. These led me to self initiation into many things. Then long dead teachers began teaching me, they are not dead actually, alive in us.

I do not feel like being quiet or keeping secrets, that time is past. Time for a new way, a synthesis, which is the responsibility of every generation. It led me to the I Ching and then beyond Divination. Tarot is a great tool in individuation and I think it should be used by every Psychologist and I would go further to say, while the Tarot can lead one out of the maze of their mind, I think it can also lead one into madness. As with all things, intention I learned matters. Greed and the baser instincts seem to disqualify you from these insights. So, I think you get from Tarot, just like anything, what you put into it and ultimately into yourself. I learned what was holding me and all of us back from heights undreamed.

Fear and regret.

I am free to do what I like and I find I like higher things and my natural tilt is towards the light. I wish not to hurt others, but I like lowly dirty things too, such is what I am. Why do all of this anyway or ask these questions, because you know and feel in yourself many rungs on the ladder of awareness.

“I cannot grasp all that I am.” – St Augustine

Augustine could not grasp it all, but we can and I am and we should. We can grasp all that we are. A gift or curse, shrug, its fun to search for it. I thank the Gamemaster.

Perhaps we are food for the Moon, as some people have wondered, but that would be absurd, wouldn’t it 😉 Everything eats something in this Universe.

All this from some funny cards. The archetypes of our unconcious are strewn out across the numbers, images and formulas. They tell the inner journey of all people. The cards are meaningless though, the wisdom I found is already inside of us. The cards just help me remember myself and how I like to play and fool myself.

There are many ancient and new tools to use to explore yourself with. I say try them all. Live like you have no tomorrow,  you were born for this moment. Dance like a fool before the Gods.

God helps me.