“Illusion sets the stage for revelation in order to
reveal hard to get at truths.” – Stanley Milgrim
Category: meditation
Neutral Buoyancy: A Winning Strategy
I had a dream last night. I don’t remember it clearly. It was important I felt, to somebody. This morning a kind of summary regarding recent happenings in my part of the space-time continuum began replaying in my mind and I felt some of my dream coming up. Been percolating for awhile. Here is the gist of it. I have been given many game pieces and hints recently to play with in this beautiful game of Life which it seems was created for our good. They just floated by. Let me explain.
This is not new information. It has been beamed into our heads since birth by everything around us, Life is a game. Some would have us believe either suffering is not real or that Life is only that, suffering. Suffering does not exist as we think it does. I’m not going to tell you it isn’t real. How do I know for sure? It sure as hell hurts sometimes. I feel It is more a corrective subroutine. You are not supposed to like it. It hurts. But there is a higher path through it. You just have to realize you are not real in the sense you think you are and thus your pain, is more guiding then crippling. Suffering encases you in a pupa in which you can grow into a beautiful butterfly. Any separation we feel between us inside/outside is our own. The point is to learn and explore your connections to every thing around you using all skills and talents at your disposal. We are not to shut our minds off, instead let them be guided by beneficial principles. There is a level of self benefit, but when you factor in other’s benefit into your thinking, you reach the next game level and as a bonus, you get a conscious awareness power up in game. You learn this through trial and error. There is no right or wrong, just the way things are. You accept them or not.
How do I know this? I read the instructions sillies. I didn’t just dream it. I’m not that crazy. In fact, I’m not crazy at all. I am completely lucid at this moment, more so than my entire life. That is an interesting point in the game. The infinite possibilities bonus level during a moment of clarity. The instructions are in this really hard to get to space in the 2nd ventricle of the heart, written reversed against the inner heart wall, in the sanctum sanctorum. For $19.99 I can mail you instructions how to find it. It’s such a small price to pay for such a great game hint 🙂 Even the instructions were hidden in this game.
I have learned through experience, there is a middle way, balance is possible. The Creators of this game don’t even know its depth. Why do you think we are here. From now until we die or our collective clocks run down, any doubt this is true will be shown to you as folly. Do you need to know its a game, in a way, yes.
No Man’s Sky is a new simulated Universe game that created a Universe in 600,000 lines of code. They modeled our current understanding of physics into the game. It’s the first of its kind and unique in its scope in the way the Universe was modeled, on demand, the subroutine for a new area starts running. The patterns in our brain are hard wired to seek a Creator and know thy self perhaps. Maybe people are led unconsciously to create games that mirror Ultimate Reality because we are not ready to occupy that specific game level yet. Or perhaps that is beyond the game. And to say it is a game, they mean we are a simulation most likely.
Everything is a mirror. We are creators and that I think is part of the point of the game. Learn to love, flow free and create good things spontaneously for all. The game routines are not running when not needed. Now bring in VR and you can see we are on the verge of a new entertainment explosion. Watch, you will see VR take over in the next 5 years. It is a true fractal simulation based on the theory’s of Nick Bostrum. Nick is a philosopher who the smartest people in the world are listening to. He is an AI theorist. Nick just showed we are likely not real and simulated. If the smartest in the world believe this, what do you think they are doing? They are running the game. Accept, being most powerful is no better in this game than being a gamete.
How did I come to know this, because I know it as sure as my arms and legs before me. I told you, I found the instructions. The eastern and western esoteric traditions have explored our simulation in great depth. This is the Truth at the center of their secret knowings. They learned that once you have read all the instructions, you have to turn yourself into a key. A key to unlock parts of the game. It is a very common human reaction that when you know you have discovered the key, 9 times out of 10, people want to keep it for themselves and theirs. That is a test. It is a losing strategy.
So if you want to be President, a drunk, a beggar, a drug addict, ruler of the Galaxy, a janitor, a Dad, a Mom, do it! All equally valid in the spirit of exploring the game. As many times as you want for as long as you want. We have eternity it seems. But there is an order to things. A game progression. We are being directed in a way it seems to make ourselves better. To expand our minds. It seems whoever expands the furthest, maybe even into non-existence in the game is the winner. There is a hint. Openness and awareness. Anything you can do to foster those seems to lead to some great in game benefits.
Now, here is one existential paradox. If it is a game, no matter how hard you try, you will only be able to learn what has been put into the game. It may be a closed game, seems unlikely, but we can never know. Nick explains it is impossible to know if we are simulated after we have created adequately sophisticated simulations ourselves.
OK, that all seems logical, but is the Universe only logical? We just can’t know. Everyone has their own subjective experience. May I suggest a good game strategy that has been working well for me, neutral buoyancy. Neutral Buoyancy is a condition in which a physical body’s average density is equal to the density of the fluid in which it is immersed. Don’t go out of your depth, let the currents and your own composition lead you up or down as a balloon. Truthfully, you can’t go anywhere where you have not equalized to the pressure. In this way, it is impossible to cheat in the game to get to the true treasure.
Go with the flow.
That’s it, its also the title of my new book, Neutral Buoyancy: A Winning Strategy. I decided to try to write about the game instructions. Its not against the rules. But it is a proven losing strategy though. No one listens. I thought I would try to knock my head against the wall writing until something else comes loose.
Little Buddhas
“If you spend a long period of time in study & self-cultivation, you will enter the Tao. By doing so, you also enter a world of extraordinary perceptions. You experience unimaginable things, receive thoughts & learning as if from nowhere, perceive things that could be classified as prescient, yet if you try to communicate what you experience, there is no one to understand you. The more you walk this road, the farther you are from the ordinary ways of society. You may see the truth, but you will find that people would rather listen to politicians, performers, & charlatans.” – Deng ming-Dao
Shhhhhhhhh, be so quiet now…
Kali the Divine Mother
I had an interesting experience with the Divine Mother and one of her aspects today. Here is the net of that experience below, an excerpt from Paramhansa Yogananda’s, The Essence of Self-Realization, Ways in Which God Can be Worshiped. There are many aspects of the Creation.
Paramhansa Yogananda visits my dreams and Kali whispers in my ear. If ever I would have followed a guru and Divine Soul like the Christ, it would have been Yogananda. I would have spent some time at his feet. I feel in his words a love for creation that swells my small human breast until it might explode. They are me and we are part of the child of Creation. Who is there to follow? Who is following? Who is writing these words? Who is reading them? – omega
Ways in Which God Can be Worshiped
“One thing I cannot appreciate in the Hindu religion,” said a Christian severely, “is its plethora of gods.”
“There are many,” agreed the Master. “Each, however, represents an attempt to remind us of God in one of His innumerable aspects. They are abstractions—a way of saying, ‘No human being can really understand what God is, but here, at least, is something that He does.’
“Take, for example, the image of the goddess Kali. This is a good case in point, because, out of all Hindu images, Kali has been the one most misunderstood by Western minds.
“Kali stands naked. Her right foot is placed on the chest of Her prostrate husband. Her hair streams out, disheveled, behind Her. A garland of human heads adorns Her neck. In one of four hands She brandishes a sword; in another, a severed head. Her tongue, usually painted a bright red, lolls out as though in blood-lust.”
At this point the Christian shuddered. Yogananda grinned roguishly.
“If we thought that this image depicted Kali as She is,” he continued, “I grant you, it might awaken devotion in very few devotees! However, the purpose of that image is to describe certain universal functions of the Divine in Nature.
“Kali represents Mother Nature. She is Aum, the cosmic vibration. In Aum everything exists—all matter, all energy, and the thoughts of all conscious beings. Hence, Her garland of heads, to show that She is invisibly present in all minds.
“The play of life and death expresses Her activity in Nature: creation, preservation, and destruction. Hence the sword, the head, and a third hand extended, bestowing life.
“Her energy is omnipresent; hence Her streaming hair, representing energy.
“Shiva, Her husband, represents God in His vibrationless state, beyond creation. Thus, He is depicted as supine.
“Kali’s tongue is protruding not in blood-lust as most people believe, but because in India, when a person makes a mistake, he sticks out his tongue. In the West, don’t you express embarrassment somewhat similarly? You put your hands to your mouth.
“Kali is depicted as dancing all over creation. This dance represents the movement of cosmic vibration, in which all things exist. When Kali’s foot touches the breast of the Infinite, however, She puts her tongue out as if to say, ‘Oh, oh, I’ve gone too far!’ For at the touch of the Infinite Spirit, all vibration ceases.
“Kali’s fourth hand is raised in blessing on those who seek, not Her gifts, but liberation from the endless play of maya, or delusion.
“Those who feel themselves attracted to Nature’s outward manifestations must continue the endless round of life and death, through incarnation after incarnation. Those devotees, however, who deeply long for freedom from the cosmic play worship God in the indwelling Self. Through meditation, they merge in the infinite Aum. And from oneness with Aum they pass beyond creation, to unite their consciousness with God—timeless, eternal Bliss.
“The statues of Kali are not intended to depict the Divine Mother as She looks, but simply to display Her functions in the aspect of Mother Nature.
“The Divine Mother is, of course, without form, though we may say also that Her body is the entire universe, with its infinity of suns and moons. She can also appear to the devotee in human form, however. When She does so, She is enshrined in supernal beauty.
“All the images of gods in India are symbolic. We must look beyond their shapes to the hidden meanings they represent.”
My Cosmic Mother’s Face
Fairy dream faces, like fresh flowers,
May bloom in the vase of my gaze for my soul to see;
But the Face that vanished behind space
Cannot be replaced by any of these.
There are faces of transcendent beauty,
Faces of exquisite charm, faces tender and true;
There are faces of sweetness and wisdom,
But there’s none like the face of You.
There are faces tainted by fires of lust,
Faces the wise cannot fathom, faces a child cannot trust.
There are faces of beauty, steeped in glory through and through;
But O Cosmic Mother, they are dim beside You.
There’s the violet, the lily, the lotus, the rose;
Fragrant flower-faces blooming under the snows;
There are faces of stars, and the moon and the sun.
But for me there’s One Face evermore, only one.
After my search through aeons unnumbered,
The never-ceasing streamlets of my dreams
Have melted in Thy silver ocean-face,
Where smiling love forever softly gleams.
Countless silver rays of living beauties
Have melted into one transcendent grace –
The beauties of a million, million ages –
To make, at last, Thine omnipresent face.
Without Thy face, there is no light for me
In all the unplumbed depths of land or seal
Thy beauty-rays are rainbowed over all
Eternity, while planets rise and fall.
On the lips of laughter, on roses in the dawn,
It is Thy smile forever glowing there-
An immortelle of glory, heavenly sweet
With fragrance of unceasing, selfless prayer.
On the calm lake of my breathless bosom,
Where ripplets of desire no more
Play little games like children,
The glimmer of Thy face is spreading o’er.
In the cleansed mirror of my memory,
In the deep crystal pool that is my heart,
I see Thine omnipresence trapped for me-
Of my own self forevermore a part.
As I, awakening, pass through gates of light,
Thy wisdom-face is all my soul can see.
Faded, the pale pleasure-stars of dream skies,
In the omniscient light enfolding Thee.
Auroras, lights squeezed from shimmering hives of atoms,
Flashing feelings, burning vitalities, worlds of flame,
Dumb stones and speaking minds – all melted together
To form Thy one face and to spell Thy one name.
My vision, withdrawn from viewing pulsating centuries,
Throws its countless eyes within to search eternity;
And all I seek, O Cosmic Mother, all I crave forever,
Is the light of one face – the face of Thee!
– Paramahansa Yogananda
Be Back Whenever
I kinda have been dancing
Around the edge of something
I have a few things to do
A few places to go
I have shared what I felt
Naked and honest
But not too honest
I feel this song
I know this song
This is a song of hope…wake up!
There is no God and We are His Prophets
I titled my meditation today with some powerful words from Cormac McCarthy’s The Road. These words were spoken by the lone hermit Ely to the man and his boy on the dark grey road to nowhere in a dead world. These words will wreck you as you let their meaning insinuate into your consciousness. If you are a student of yourself, you need to read The Road. The movie wasn’t bad either. It looked exactly as it felt to me in the book. If you have seen The Revenant, the movies are very similar in tone and esoteric meaning. I’m going to write more about the story behind The Revenant later. It is very personal and magickal for me.
Anyway, I have been reading Native American mythology recently so themes of Apocalypse, God, Spirit, Prophecy and Rebirth are swishing around in my head and heart in an alchemical mix at the moment. Why would someone read about Native American prophesies? There is a thread that led me there. It led me to some interesting folks waiting for an Eschaton to destroy the world, aliens of the grey kind, through my own experience with the Apocalypse through the Evangelical religion/cult of my Mother and finally it led me to my true self who I found laughing at me. All I can do now is go through the motions and write the burning words floating up from my soul, my confession I guess or last will and testament maybe. So, on with the confession.
My culture brought the Native American’s judgement and Apocalypse in a way. Our entire culture is built on the ashes of theirs. If any American feels that pride sticking in their throats, that’s why, whether they are aware of it or not. I came across these haunting words in my title today, There is no God and We are his Prophets, as I meditated on my own internal Apocalypse and Apotheosis I have been exploring recently. That is not an end of myself, but an uncovering to the ultimate awareness and expression of myself. That sounds mystical, well, it is. Also, The Apocalypse seems to be coming at me from every input channel these days. That’s what they call a synchronicity. You don’t ignore those. I don’t anyway, not anymore. In a way I am a child of the Apocalypse. Let me explain.
As long as I can remember someone was predicting the end of the world. It is amazing actually when I stopped and thought about it. I was born in 1972 and when I was a boy I remember Walter Cronkite on CBS News talking about the long gas lines and energy crisis every night it seemed or US hostages in Iran. We had acid rain, floods, eroding ozone layer, growth of terrorism into adolescence and the terrible liberals to fear. Reagan came and saved us. Oh and I can’t forget the nuclear bombs flying over our heads and waiting in the ground to unleash Armageddon. The world I grew up in helped to foster a bitter angst and skepticism in me I carried into young adulthood unaware. A ticking time bomb of doubt. I gather now that was more by design than accident. On top of all that my Mother went and got Saved and dragged us all with her. I’ll spare you the details, insert your own inauthentic religious forced experience -> here.
The Christian Apocalypse literalness, as presented to the common Evangelical today as infallible, is laughable. I laugh, ha! All you need to do is consider the source of this doom and gloom and their gold plated fruit, no more to say about it. The metaphorical Apocalypse of the true self and uncovering of our Divinity has been co-opted by a cult and dangerous fairytale! Those are fighting words, so I better back away. Any person who spends a day in this world knows the norm is change, in every Planck unit of time it is a new Universe. It is fear that seeks to build a hedge between yourself and an unknown future. Do not look for an absolute, for that is like putting your foot on shifting sand. There is no bedrock to put your foot on in this decaying material Universe.
Logically to me, the answer, if there was one I often thought, would be found beneath the myths that were presented. I didn’t have a map to that place though, so I was no better off than the rest of the dreaming world. But there was some voice inside of me, some force, that took this opening in my thinking and began to work on it slowly over 2 decades. It just always felt like the right way to look at these things to me. Intuition I have found becomes your greatest guide and friend the more you learn to hear and trust it. What is literal in a world of myth? And that was my only point ever to those around me sharing the delusion we were under, I always felt it was important to think about the things beneath these things in this old book and look beneath the ideas and see the archetypes. Who wrote them? Why? It was at the end of religion and recognition of common archetypes across all religions, myth and culture that led me to an esoteric occult secret about myself. One that I knew I would find.
One I was destined to find it seems.
So today, researching the recurring theme of Apocalypse in my life, I was thinking about the boy from The Road and how often I feel myself walking like him on in a gray dead world that does not know it is dead yet. I found an essay suggesting a correlation between the boy’s father in the book and Virgil from Dante’s Inferno. Virgil could take you through your past and illuminate purgatory, but only we can climb that fiery stairway to Heaven. As Elijah did in that old book. The boy in the story represents the last child God born from the ashes of the old world maybe. A Messiah? The boy asks if there are other people and his father says no. Not anywhere, the boy asks? Maybe somewhere else, the boy says. Does the father live only to keep the boy’s hope alive? Why keep walking? That is the question, isn’t it? I will not spoil it and I am not sure I have a satisfactory answer yet anyway why they still kept walking in that dead world. I think it was partially driven by that unspoken intuition that drives us as a Light in the darkest storm from deep within and because humans have that unique sense of the future and hope keeps you warm in the cold. Better to hope than have none maybe in the end, as many wise sages seem to have said.
That sounds very depressing and shady, doesn’t it? I’m sorry, right now, as I look out the window though, it is beautiful actually. The Diablo mountain range is covered in a fresh coat of pastoral California green against a clear blue sky. The rains have come and gone and left us many gifts. For me I only see unicorns and rainbows now when I think of the Apocalypse. All myth is being washed away from me layer by layer. When I let all the myth of all creeds go and ask myself about the future, I feel a real burning hope and joy. There is no reason for it or specific message. My hope is just a Light burning inside me. I have no use for any other person’s version of reality. I know myself, here, now. What else can I offer you, but my view from here? I found something in myself I could never have dreamed of. That was mystical. I am only beginning to plumb the depths of myself. I invite you to shed your myths and stories. Shed your illusions and dreams about yourself and see what is left.
There is a New Age at hand I believe and I chose to and will play an active hand in bringing it into being with my Light, however it chooses to shine in this world. It is beautiful to me that when I asked myself about what I AM I could only respond with poems and pictures. The future must be one where we learn to live in balance, so we have to learn to do that today and now. It began and will continue with individuals learning to love themselves first. In this New Age suffering will be seen for the illusion it is, created by our own desire for ourselves. We will and can find Heaven here now. Is that a place of rest? Rest from what? Suffering? Whose? Work? For what did you work? If no one is here suffering or working, who needs to rest? Maybe Heaven is being fully connected in this life, now, because now is all we have. Can you live with now being enough for you? If you can, you will find balance.
Soul Food
“If you lose all your worldly goods,
And you only have two loaves of bread –
Sell one of them: take what you get,
And buy some flowers for your Soul instead.” – Sa’adi
The Hero and The Light
“Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.”
It is by going down into the abyss
that we recover the treasures of life.
Where you stumble,
there lies your treasure.
The very cave you are afraid to enter
turns out to be the source of
what you are looking for.
The damned thing in the cave
that was so dreaded
has become the center.
You find the jewel,
and it draws you off.
In loving the spiritual,
you cannot despise the earthly.
– Attributed to Joseph Campbell from “Reflections on the Art of Living: A Joseph Campbell Companion”
I am now engaged in a face to face confrontation with Gurdjieff. He stares through me and into me. I feel a familiar Light in Him. Who is this man? The Truth stretches out across a parabola before me and focuses to a single point within. It guides me to detach from dead end paths leeching energy and press into and pick up the treasure that is before me and hide it away deep.
I would highly recommend Beelzebub’s Tales to His Grandson by Gurdjieff. I see and feel such clarity in this man’s words and life. He is not so well known among my generation. Simply, it is a book meant to destroy the ego, the ‘i’. I highly recommend it if you are ready to begin to explore what you truly are. I promise that like the Bible and other ancient sacred texts, reading it somehow has a powerful spiritual transformative power. Woo woo perhaps? I can only say I have felt and observed this power myself. Judge for yourself. There is something here.
If you are done seeking another system of thought. If you are done seeking enlightenment. If you are done listening to gurus. If you want to go and see for yourself. If you want to stop wasting your money, for the Truth is free and for All. This is one door. There are many. It is called The Fourth Way. It is an interesting system that borrows ideas from many Religions and mystical traditions. That feels part of the right way to live to me. Just a gut feeling, wouldn’t an ultimate Truth be seeded everywhere? Perhaps the joke is there is no ultimate and Truth is whatever you decide it is.
Basically The Fourth Way fosters a contemplative practice that involves the body, mind and spirit. I have found that keeping your beliefs open and fluid is the best way to intuitively find your way. We are spirit that extends into the material world to accomplish some purpose or perhaps to play. Enlightenment is not an end, it is just a vehicle to explore the Universe with, a beginning. If you are here reading these words, I suspect we flow in the same streams.
All paths lead to the same ocean.
I have found my path partially through the Way of the Fool. It is an odd way to live and yet profoundly enlightening, a way through the back door sort of speak. I would highly recommend The Zelator for any fellow initiate suspecting the Fool lurks within.
Warning, these places are not to be entered into half heartedly, for it is impossible to do so anyway. These ideas will seem as insurmountable mountains perhaps or truths you seem to have always known. In either case, no one can walk your path but you and all must pay the same price. Guides and teachers are helpful, but not required. They can speed you on your journey or keep you stuck in an infinite loop. I encourage you to follow the the threads that you find. There is a time to seek and a time to wait. You must give All to enter into I AM.
I do not claim any lineage or special purpose. I, like you, have been drawn into this vortex of awakening that is spinning across the world affecting people from every race, religion and creed. It is seemingly spilling forth from every place I look and it sings and bubbles from deep within. Is all around us simply illusion, myth and allegory? I have found a place to watch the spectacle from and it appears there is something else much deeper going on. Beyond religion, science, culture, humanity, the Earth, anything I can imagine and the Universe even it feels like something is out there.
Would you take the word of a Fool?
I am not sure what to do next, so I will do nothing. But I did feel compelled to share my perspective from this strange place. I feel as if a force has ahold of me. Who knows what the Truth is? I don’t. But I am finding that in the Flow you must accept constant change in every moment and be open to all with no hope or promise of a happy ending or knowing anything. Can selfless love create energy or gravity? You are not supposed to be able to do that. How else can I explain the fusion furnace that has enveloped my soul and heart as a crucible? Energy has entered into me from somewhere I can see not, but it is surging into me. How can this be?
Love creates energy.
It is flowing into and out of my life like never before. It’s Light burns everything up, inside and out. I thought I would come apart and or lose myself in bliss. Instead I found the Flow moving into and out of me, connecting me to things.
It has you now too.
Happy sailing and I wish you well on your quest, for we are all on our own Hero’s Journey.
Image – Arthur Dove, “Moon and Sea II,” 1923
Change
i will say again
i don’t believe anything
Belief and faith must evolve into knowing and wisdom
i know what i experience
i know the intuition that guides my steps
i know that my true heart loves all things
i know the Light and Love that fills my eyes and heart
i know i Love to express
Thankfulness
Wonder
Joy
Inspiration
Sadness
Truth
Love
In my poems
i know as i let that Love consume me
My hands and eyes and lips serve only that Love
i know that i want to be in the Source
i know i want All to know peace
i know that i am awakening to the reality of this illusion
i know i would give everything for the world to Awaken
To the beauty that is them
No More Thinking
No more Fear
No More Seeking
Shine where you are
No where to go but within
My poems, this blog, anything I ever say or have to give and my life for strangers, family, old and new friends. My life is for you, because we are The One.
For your consideration…
Give yourself a few moments and make some hot tea, relax and be still. Ask yourself what you believe in. Now suspend that. Yes, open yourself to the possibility, just this moment, that there is nothing else in the Universe but the thing looking out of your eyes at what is around you. Nothing else matters but this moment.
What is this place you see around you?
“The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao.”
From Anonymous
When one begins The Quest for inner awareness, he (or she) is about to experience what to him is a search for “illumination or “awareness.” He views this experience as a self-initiated search and feels that if he is successful, he will become a true “knower” — a sage, as it were. This attitude is rooted in the notion maintained in the logical mind that all problems must be solved by the intellect. Behind this notion lies the effort to objectify everything, including oneself, and to carefully assemble these objectified bits into a whole and complete truth.
However, the objective world is merely a mind creation. And the logical mind is very illogical about its own constitution. It sees itself as an object, a conceptualization of itself as provided by the bits and pieces of its own conceptualization. So he is an illusion living the illusion of an objective reality. He is the “Great Pretender”, the self-notion that feels that he can modify this life-dream according to his own designs. All of this is part of the fantasy. Therefore, he has to awaken from the notion of being him (his physical self).
The truth is that he is not a “thing”. There is nothing (no thing) to be found nor anyone to find it. The unfindable is what he is because the unfindable is the found. So no matter how perseveringly he looks within, he can never see the seer. The truth is that he wants to live for his own pleasures and gain. His seeking only strengthens his conviction that he is a distinct and separate being moving toward goals objectified in his mind as being “out there”. Yet, the burden and the binding that are constantly present when this objectified pseudo-self predominates can never produce freedom. So for him to seek inner consciousness through conceptualization is an exercise in futility. It is merely another form of objectification. Many have been entertained by the antics of puppets. If man could realize that he is being “lived”, as are puppets, then perhaps he would stop trying to write the script for the great appearance, and his true nature would stand unimpeded.
The goal is not a goal, nor is it not a goal. Knowing is the key, and all logical or conceptual efforts are ego manifestations. The unattainable must be attained — the unknowable must be known — but not by anyone. Effort must be effortless — a simple fulfilling of that which is. Not a description, just a fulfilling. Wherever anyone goes, awareness will be hidden. In simple terms, awareness indicates the absence of the illusion of self and other. When anyone is an object, this of course implies a subject. Subject and object is the illusion that obscures awareness. So wherever anyone goes, awareness will be hidden because there must be a wholeness and not the persistence of the distinction of object and subject.
Awareness is something that must be realized, it can not be taught per se. If one merely “believes” in awareness, one has missed it. One must understand that awareness is direct and meaningful and is attention to life right where it is, in the present. This is the very source of inner awareness (or actually the source of life). Awareness is not a “thing” that can be found — one becomes aware by being aware. There are many philosophies yet the confusion continues, because explanations may be clever and convincing and still be lacking wisdom. One thinks of himself as an objective entity and completely functioning in an attitude of duality. The person who people thinks of as themselves is part of the collection of ideas and concepts that fill their ordinary minds. This is the pseudo-self. However, the true-self, the observing awareness that makes consciousness possible, is not an object. Yet all objects appear within it.
The mind of man is without sound and without odor and he who answers when called is nothing but a thief. One must remember that the seeker is what is to be sought — when one seeks awareness, one seeks himself. One can not assume that there is a questioner and an answer. Consciousness indicates the force that causes all the images in life to appear. The seeker can no more find the seeker than the eye can see itself. To find reality, the mind must escape the imprisoning circle of conditioned thinking that it has built.
There is no goal, there is no practicing, there is nothing to get and no one to get it — there is just life in its immediacy. The immediacy of life is ever present but seldom recognized for what it is. ‘Now’ is what we are and it can not be a goal or state to attain, but rather is the activity of the moment before the thoughts mislabel it. Try as it may, the logical mind can find no answer in awareness. The struggle goes on and on until the intellect freezes in its tracks and provides the intuitive aspect of mind a moment of quiet opportunity. Now a fuller knowing is present without the hampering limitations of the objectifying mind warping the results. Western minds generally have a preference for seeking the infinite with finite methods. This logical approach is one of dissection and assembling so that the pieces are arranged (in mind) in seemingly sensible sequences in order to provide an answer. The problem is that even the most brilliant minds have a distinct and limited supply of “mind material” from which to draw. Perfection can not be devised by rational and scientific methods and is not apart from the appearances (object/subject) arising in the conditioned mind.
One must take warning about the exploiters who prey on people who are earnestly seeking the truth. If one is to listen to wisdom then one must follow the wisdom, and not follow the exploiters. The logical mind can measure, but not perfectly. If one lives in the center of his concepts and convictions that surround him, he can not know inner perfection. One is whatever distortions ones mind-circle is, and it never really hangs perfectly in every direction. Awareness is not rising above worldly things, so it is not found by denying necessary worldly activities. One can not separate the inner world from the outer world, yet must be united in the activities of normal daily living. The way of awareness is self-nature — which can not be seen or discerned by the thinking mind. It is not void of the body or mind or of the things known by them, but rather is the source of the appearances of all things including body and mind. It is direct experiences of events that are openings to the truth and is therefore a full experiential knowing of the infinite source, the “search” would be over.
The “one” can not be seen while a seer is present — it is not one and it is not a duality, so it forever escapes definition. Though the world appears divided, it is the “one” –which is indeterminate and undifferentiated. But human thinking can not function in a condition of one-ness, it requires a duality in order to be present. Mind, or the absolute, should neither be considered as one or any other number because consciousness functions in duality while supported by the one-ness. Mankind is generally looking for a purpose in life, and this purpose is generally of a selfish or egotistic nature. In addition, the search for purpose implies that there is individual freedom of choice. Freedom of choice, however, is truly non- freedom because the choices are dependent on the movement of the logical mind so one is limited to one’s conditioned thinking. There is freedom within the limitations when the limited is in harmony with the changes and motions of life — when one is not struggling constantly to change what is. When the phenomenal world is seen as the only reality, one is held by the bondage of ignorance. To feel that one is illumined and has transcended the phenomenal world is equally a bondage of ignorance.
Meditation is a keystone in the search for the self-nature. The confusion inherent in conditioned thinking minds requires that the meditation practice first attends to constant conflict between our emotions and our intellect. By some method, one must bring about a complete and unchangeable harmony between the two. The beginning meditative practices must focus on taming the ceaseless thought processes of the mind. The intent, however, is not to create a bland or thoughtless mind. Rather, through meditation one begins to attend to the things at hand with full attention. It is that if the breath can be tamed then one’s mind can be tamed. Therefore, there is a simple practice that is almost universally used called “counting the breath”.
To begin, one may sit in any number of a variety of postures (full-lotus, half-lotus, kneeling, or seated in a chair). The back should be straight and the head erect. Breathe naturally and count either the inhalations or exhalations. Count from one to ten, and then start over. Continue this for thirty minutes. Each breath and count should receive full attention. Though this practice may seem simple, the mind often wanders and it is difficult to count to ten with full attention. However, if one truly wants to apply oneself to the practice, this constant effort must be made.
Of course after mastering the breath, there are many other useful practices that one can use. The practice of a mind exercise that poses an “illogical” situation and requires an “intuitive” rather than a logical response is very good. After all, whether realized at the time or not, one of the foundational ideas for unfolding one’s inner nature is to attain a full and complete higher intuitive perception. This requires constant attention and effort because man lives in a world of constant changes, problems, and distractions which subject him to strong ongoing tension. Serene reflection is a practice where the mind is quieted and does not respond to arising thoughts and words. “Serene” implies more than just calmness or quietude, and “reflection” does not mean to contemplate on some subject. Rather, there is clear and mirror-like awareness which is bright, illuminating, and pure. This too is designed to create mind conditions that open the way to “intuitive knowing” or “seeking of reality”. As long as one persists in searching for his “true self” OUT THERE, the truth remains hidden. As long as there is a conscious intention of attaining something, an obstacle is in the way of awakening. And even though sitting in meditation is very helpful, there is a limit to its uses.
If there is a breakthrough to the highest intuitive level, then every motion of life is a meditation. Serene reflection is like thinking of the unthinkable, a choiceless awareness — the aware state of mind where the thoughts that arise are not pursued. This is ultimate concentrated receptivity and there is no listener or a thing listened to — just pure listening. The mind is then like a mirror — pure reflection with no retention. It must be remembered that meditation is neither self- important nor self-denying, as true humbleness is being unaware of humility. It must be remembered that all elements of kingdoms in manifested nature do possess an inner nature or self-nature — but man, the most advanced creature in the particular stage of manifested nature, is the only one capable of recognizing it. But before man can truly recognize this, he must take the time to examine his mental junk-yard of conditioning, concepts, prejudices, and beliefs.
One must attain an attitude of “I hear – I see – I speak” without the persistent belief in a judge who places values on things and events. This judge seemingly makes choices in what decisions should be made and what actions should be taken. If the entity’s actions are in keeping with the ideas present in mind, the entity feels it initiated a successful action. If the unfoldment of the moment is contrary to the impulses that were in mind, frustration ensues and there is a seeming failure. However, this judge is not the determinant. If the law of cause and effect is true, then this moment already determines the next moment. Perhaps there is no cause and effect per se, but a consciousness of continuity that is only visible in universal quantum flashes. When there is only hearing, seeing, and speaking, this is the “action of non-action” and is direct and intuitional. It is the fulfillment of each moment without the interference of the judge.
So life becomes a constant meditation whether standing, sitting, or lying down, one is living in the “now”, and the way is smooth even though the way of the world is hilly. One must ask himself if he is really meditating or trying to escape the world. For some, meditation is like hiding in a barrel — but what is not realized is that the truth hides there with him. Truth is indeed within ourselves, but we must not simply travel from one dream state to another. Mind refers to that which is beyond definition. This mind is not just thought and thinking processes as experienced in everyday thinking –it is pure consciousness. When one attempts to look within to find truth, one generally only succeeds in seeing all the conditioned limitations and imperfections as reflected by the logical conditioned mind and its limitations and imperfections. This mind is like a hall of funny mirrors in which the reflections are distorted according to the distortions in the mirrors. One must be concerned with direct knowing of mind, not philosophies or woven thinking patterns. For example, when one is in a garden filled with beautiful yellow roses — the seeing is yellow, a knowing and not a matter of thought. Mind is always present — like sunshine, it provides life. It can not be produced and yet it is always known.
When ordinary conditioned mind is set aside, there is a realization of “at-one-ment” with mind. The ordinary mind (unconditioned) then resides in a natural condition of absolute tranquillity. The functions of ordinary mind continue, but the source of activity is not based on learned conceptual ideas. It is a mode of intuitive knowing. Conceptually, ordinary mind and mind seem to be opposites, but they are not truly divided — only in appearance. To illustrate, imagine that there is a very large box sitting in the sun and that there are a number of holes in the top of the box. If you had an inside view of the box, you would see little shafts of light coming through each one of the holes. Also imagine that each little light shaft is conscious and the rays look at each other, each feeling that it has its own consciousness separate from the consciousness of the other rays. Now suppose that the consciousness of one of the rays rises up the shaft and out through the hole in the box into the full sunlight. It realizes then that all of the rays are in truth the one source (the sun). Upon reentering the hole into the box, that ray no longer has the sense of separation still present in the other rays. It could not, however, communicate this knowing to the other rays and at best could only encourage other rays to peek out through the hole to discover their wholeness.
Many great seers and sages throughout history have said that man never sees “out there” — that the vast world is all in his mind. This is due to man always seeking a reasonable explanation to most everything, though one must look beyond the world of objectivity. To conditioned man, there is no singularity unless it can be explained dualistically. Each motion of life is transmitted by the sensory system to a center of cognition that receives the input. This creates a feeling of a “me” that constantly grows and is reinforced by every activity. Soon it becomes so firmly entrenched that awakening is very difficult. We must shatter the process of this image-making. One must remember that the conditioned mind can only ask a conditioned question, and answers reflect the conditioning of the answerer. The answerer’s answers are heard according to the conditioning of the mind hearing the answer.
People think that they know in which way they want to go or which “path” they wish their “seeking” to travel. But climbing the mountain, one finds that the view is unobstructed at the top. This intuitional knowing, because all directions are now “one direction”. The “one direction” springs forth from pure consciousness (or unconditioned mind). That which one thinks of as the mind is more or less a collection of habits and conditioned notions. But the little intellect is a limited appearance in the infinite, whereas true mind is infinite and actually indescribable and unrecognizable or something that can be objectified. One’s mind is a sequence of conditioning — an accumulation of conditioning, and throughout a life-time it becomes an accumulation of accumulations. This is old conditioned thinking and habits acting to produce new conditioned thinking and new habits. Man is a habit machine and is in the habit of creating a collection of more habits.
The more that this collection grows, the more firmly the conviction that these concepts have a true objective reality. So obviously, we must get the dust out of our minds — the dust as the collection of conditioned concepts in the mind and the persistent clinging to them. Pure consciousness remains hidden by this dust, and the true self is obscured by the pseudo-self created by the dust itself. Man is a constellation of habits and at times he wants to enter some practice to get rid of his habits. But in essence all he is doing is acquiring a habit to get rid of another habit because the “practice” itself becomes a habit. The belief sets in that there is a practicer, someone who is on his way — a traveler who is going where he actually is already. A habit pattern can not overcome a habit pattern without creating another habit pattern. A collection of problems can not expect to solve a collection of problems. One habit can not replace another so that one can be habit-free.
Time is the very core of this phenomenal existence. Without this function of duration, ordinary thinking could not be. Just as ordinary mind is truly a manifestation in pure mind, time is a manifestation of the “timeless”. Time is the durational aspect of the timeless that produces the phenomenal world or ordinary mind. The “now” is “now” but never “now” because “now” can not be “now”. By the time that all sensory reports are sent to the brain and the images evoked, that portion of the event has passed. Ordinary mind is a record of the past and it is never here “now”, because the future is really “now” but not yet known. Only the body is temporal — we are actually truly intemporal. So the “now” is the true observer — the “I” which has no object oriented existence. When there is a knowing of pure mind, the durational aspect no longer predominates and we arrive in our natural abode — the timeless. Yet, we should know that the timeless and time are only two aspects of the indivisible because when the timeless and the time negate each other, then the truth IS.
This can only be known and not explained because all explanations require concepts and are durational in nature. They evade the negation that provides the indivisible truth. Yet, so many are concerned with time that many spend a lot of time looking for philosophies or religions that in some way give more time. They seek immortality through a belief in reincarnation or in the belief that existence will continue in a heaven (or even a hell). They seek this immortality for the physical entity (which they misterm the soul) and for the collection of vices and virtues. When they think of immortality, it is the notion that in some way this earthly conditioned personality will endure endlessly. But these will all cease when true unity IS.
All images and theories are products of a divided mind which depends on duration and constant change in order to manifest its presence. So it is impossible for ordinary mind (time) to answer a question on eternity. We must reach out to KNOW the NOW, and we must disengage ourselves from the illusions of ordinary mind. So we must know reality (the timeless) because there is no concern with immortality. Reality is infinite and eternal and is not dependent on a sequence of events. If one aspires to live forever, then one is denying eternity. Instead of constantly reaching for the next moment, we should KNOW the present — the “now”. Then all the illusory aspirations to find immortality will give way to a knowing of the timeless. Man should become aware that there is not objective past, present, or future — there is only an ongoing consciousness of change constantly occurring in mind. So it is through time, is produced only that which time produces. If the complications of the discriminating consciousness are cut off and the truth of the self-nature is present, there is no longer the appearance of someone restricted by time.
The “now” is NOW — like an acorn, it is the infinite past AND the infinite future all present in the infinite now. One can not spend his time looking for time — because it would take a very long time. Time moves on and on and is everywhere, and nowhere, and in every space and in no space. Time can not exist without space, and space can not exist without time. Just as an object can not appear without a subject, time can not appear without space. It has been said that man is the dimension that provides consciousness — so he is time. But he can not objectify time as if it was something outside of himself because time is not a thing. Therefore, time is looking for time, or phenomenal mind is looking for phenomenal mind. Yet, it is impossible for phenomenal mind to stand aside and watch itself pass by. Even though the mind is full of memories and projections, it only has the “now” to function in. Granted, we must remember where we have been AND have a good idea of where we are going BUT we must know where we are right now and what we are doing right now. Yesterday was a reality THEN and tomorrow is not a reality YET, so the only true reality is this very instant.
No matter how moving the revelations of the moment, we must not steadfastly hold onto past convictions. The only real moment one has is the present moment because actually there is no past moment nor a future moment — time is just a changing present that never moves. Most sense that there is a power from which all things spring but from which can not be seen. It is called many names — God, Spirit, Absolute Reality, and so on. However, man lives his life according to his narrow perceptions of this phenomenal reality — the world of form. When he tries to analyze his perceptions of absolute reality, it becomes apparent that the logical mind is incapable of knowing what it truly is. This is because the logical mind can not ask a question without imparting its own ignorance and its clinging to illusion. He says that “I” feel that “I” am a center of a world of multiplicity, and somehow “I” maintain a distinction from that multiplicity. When he asks questions concerning absolute reality, he forgets that he is trapped by the illusion inherent in his relative viewpoint. The questions are faulty as they originate in mind which objectifies all things. But he can not provide absolute answers to faulty questions by intellectual methods which are based on the same illusions that prompted the questioner.
Add to this illusion of separateness his deep conviction of the reality of time and space, and reality is ordinary mind and is built on these things. It is this conviction that provides his world-image with the illusions of a past- present-future unfoldment in time. He perhaps has never been aware of the fact that this past-present-future succession is just his way of interpreting his seeming reality. Furthermore, there is no space in the world of the “real” (no world either) except as it appears in ordinary mind. It is difficult for man to comprehend in a logical fashion that all these things that appear as spatially separated are not in the absolute sense separate. In this world of multiple images, even the absolute is seen as a unity that appears as separate from the externalized world-image.
So, all of man’s questions on the subjects of absolute reality, time, and space can not be answered because they originate in illusion in the consciousness of an illusory person. However, just as the intellect is an instrument in the world of relativity, the bindings of the intellect can be transcended when an intuitive awakening to reality occurs. One can not judge reality because individual seeing is a form of limitation and the whole is not seen. So to make real is to objectify or to limit and so it is a so-called illusion. People think that they would know a real illusion from an unreal illusion. But there can be no unreal illusion, so it would be a reality or an illusion of an illusion. One must first know reality before one can see anything as unreal. And one must know what an illusion is, in order to know reality. So in knowing reality all things become real, and if it is real or unreal it could not be absolute in nature.
The absolute is beyond the divisions of the dualistic Mind. So consider then, not real and not unreal but rather the absence of the absence of both. Everything seen as something is the illusion of one seeing the illusion of the illusion that one creates. “Believing” in not “knowing”. Even the greatest of sages can not impart their knowing to anyone else. If one accepts their words about knowing, one will only have a belief in their knowing. The answer is knowing, and knowing that the knower IS the knowing. It is said that when phenomenal reality and the absolute reality negate each other, then the truth of reality is present. Since the absolute is unknowable, there can be no knowing of the negation. If reality and absolute reality negate each other nothing can be real and the negation can not be verified. The phenomenal reality is not fully cognized by ordinary mind and the absolute is beyond cognition. Absolute reality can not BE if there persists the separation of reality and absolute reality. Man is in a maddening pursuit of endeavoring to do the impossible — he wants the world to be other than it is. He wants to change it to suit his desires. He always considers things as being either good or bad or unworthy of attention because he can not see the perfection in the natural unfoldment of life nor his inability to change the course of events. He always seeks a means of escape in his search for the reality of life “out there” in his efforts to avoid life in order to find it.
When life can be lived as it unfolds, the foolish dance of avoidance is dropped and life expresses life without the fantasy of an interfering self. People’s search for the “one reality” is likened to them looking for it through a spy-glass. If they look through the other end things look further away — they can not make up their minds as to which version of the “one reality” is correct. When in essence, they can not use a spy-glass to find themselves. Their reality is that absolute reality seems absent, but they can not really know that it is absent when it is unknowable. Whether one reads the words or tries to read between the lines, the truth will still escape him. If he clings to the words, he will be bound by words. If he clings to what is between the lines, he is still bound by his very activity of avoidance (of words), and by the “deeper” concepts of truth that he tries to read “between the lines”.
The phenomenal world is a world of constant change. As such, there is no phenomenal activity or conditioning that can provide anything of an enduring nature. If one seeks happiness or security in the world of change, only change will be found. Knowing reality makes it less real — but no less real than we are for knowing it. One must remember that the shadow can not describe the sun.
True wisdom must reside in the heart as well as the mind. Most are not so concerned with discovering reality as they are in trying to find ways to avoid it. One’s egotistical attitude is his pride in some ability. But he forgets he is laden with neurotic protective armor which protects ego but is an overwhelming obstacle in his so-called search for truth.
One must remember that though he is the key that unlocks truth, he is also the lock that keeps truth imprisoned. The true inner self is the real observer. But imitation brings the bitterest results of all and when one pretense fails and another put in its place. The truth is neither here nor there nor is it ever absent, because to find it is to miss it. The truth is all pervading because it is as it is — even ignorance is the truth, because for the truth to know truth, ignorance would have to know ignorance.
The mind of phenomena, the mind of appearances, is the mind that wants to speak of enlightenment. The pseudo-self wants to speak of paths and goals in an effort to maintain itself and to perpetuate the appearance of a personality. This ever-changing shadow, the pseudo-self , wishes to achieve and proclaim its enlightenment by claiming the sun as its own. It must be remembered that this little self can not be enlightened since a full sensing of enlightenment removes the appearance of separation. To point to something described as a goal and to name it “enlightenment” simply creates profound obstacles to the truth. If we look more carefully we will discover that the phenomenal and the noumenal are inseparable. This being so, then all phenomena are enlightenment and all beings are in this sense enlightened. In truth, enlightenment can claim ordinary mind as its own but ordinary mind can not claim enlightenment. Unfortunately there are many people running around claiming enlightenment as if it were something that elevated them above other people. True, we are all enlightened, but in a non- separative sense. There can only be enlightenment when the pseudo-self assumes its proper place and when phenomena and noumena function knowingly as one.
Awakening is sudden — after which deliverance is gradual. Even after awakening, the accumulated old thinking and habit patterns (conditioned) have a tendency to respond to circumstances in the old familiar ways. It is as if a pendulum has been disconnected yet continues to swing for a while before coming to rest. This slowing down is the gradual practice which is deliverance from conditioned thinking and habitual behavior, so it is after this that the way to true practice is open.
Enlightenment produces a balance between phenomenal understanding and the universal principle. The pseudo-self is still present but only as an appearance in the world. When the logical mind is at a dead-end, now perhaps intuition will be present. Many “believe” that there must be an “ultimate truth”, and so go looking for IT. But they can not find anything in their concepts and their conditioning, and their true inner intuitive voice never gets a chance to speak. They must learn to search and express themselves from the very depths of their being.
Facing the truth can be frightening for many, but the seeming loss of one’s sense of personal self (conditioned) is the ultimate sacrifice. This can be very scary, but we can not flee from the truth if we want to be open to it. Conditioned thinking would be put out of business when one finds truth, because to awaken is to reject conditioned thinking and conditioned ways. In essence, man is theoretically open to unlimited truth.
First, one must wake up from the delusion of conditioned perception by giving up trying to begin at the finish. In this effort to find “something”, one projects in his mind an idea of what that “something” is. And it is this projection that closes his receptivity. We must face the tasks of ordinary living but we must also strive for awakening. When we awake from the conditioned dreamland of physical existence we can clearly see things as they are — not a reflection as in conditioned thinking, but rather AS THEY ARE right now with no projected notions onto them. Then one will function harmoniously with life’s flow and will no longer struggle to impose on the whole the whims of a fragment.
That is all, for now…
The Knowing
I have been meditating on the passage below.
: The knowing is not the thoughts :
: The knowing is not the feelings :
: The knowing is not the body :
: The knowing is not the mind :
: :
: The knowing is found beyond the thoughts :
: The knowing is found without the feelings :
: The knowing continues when the body does not :
: The knowing transcends the mind :
: :
: The knowing is found within :
: The knowing is sometimes forgotten :
: The knowing is never gone :
: The knowing is for you to find :
: :
: The knowing is who you are :
: The knowing is where you have been :
: The knowing is where you are going :
: The knowing is knowing you know :
I know
Quantum Heart 