The Walk

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Warning! Spoilers ahead!

I am terrified of heights, terrified, always have been. I can fly in a plane just fine, but get me up above a foot stool and my stomach falls out. Now isn’t that interesting. I can trust a plane more than a ladder. Doesn’t it seem to always come down to trust. What do you trust? What do I trust? Anyway, as I was thinking about this recently, I saw this new movie “The Walk” was coming out soon. Seemed an interesting story, it is about Philippe Petit who wire walked across the World Trade center towers. I was NOT going to see it!

I had told myself, I will NEVER see that movie. How could I? Slowly as the release date approached and I caught myself sweating about it. I was literally sweating over the anxiety that the movie represented to me, the one I was NEVER going to see. This is the interesting part, I realized, in the moment, these were some of the most intense feelings I have ever felt. Over a movie about a wire walker I was NEVER going to see? Well, this piqued my interest as I meditated about it and I determined, I must see this movie if it can already evoke such an emotional response in me. I can always shut my eyes at the hard parts. I decided to do this right, I had to see it in IMAX 3D, go big or go home is my credo.

The movie opened with, “A true story.” We shall see I told myself, but I liked the bold statement. As my girlfriend and I started to watch, a particular part of my anatomy began to shrink, quickly. It isn’t what you think and I began to cling to her, like a little child. My stomach disappeared, which was a problem, because I was eating popcorn. I told myself that when we get to the hard part, remember, you can shut your eyes. Unfortunately, as the movie progressed, I began to understand Philippe and the purity of his heart and quest. It was profound to me and very serendipitous, a common theme in my life as of late. To walk the tight rope of life.

As the story unfolded I saw that there was no compromise in this man. He represented iron will and fear contained. He was scared, terrified, but he set his heart on the most impossible thing, not for fame, but out of pure creativity and joy of the moment. This is a man to know and a heart, that I began to feel, reflects the best we can be. Yes, it was a magical alchemical act and moment of awareness. He did it in front of the world that gave it even more power. He transcended the system and his limits through his joy!

As the inevitable coming moments looking over the edge of oblivion were joyously foreshadowed, my fear began to multiply, by a quintilbillion(I made that number up, but you get the idea). Looking over the edge of the world trade tower in IMAX 3D, what was I thinking?! I told my girlfriend, we might have to leave. After I let these wimpy words leave my mouth and I lost all pride, something in me stirred. You owe his courage to watch with your “Eyes Wide Open”. Clear as that. So I did what Philippe was doing on the screen.

I stopped thinking
I focused on my breath
I was in the moment

And then…

I had no fear
My eyes were wide open
Looking down on the scene above
I felt like I was right there with him
He laid down on the wire and looked up

I watched his ENTIRE walk, oh no, not once, but over 4 times he walked that wire! For me, this was a perfect still moment. I imagined I felt it as he did in that moment. I was transformed and transported in that moment. It was an expression of complete trust on his part. That is the lesson I took from it. He had no faith, just iron will based on trust. There are teaching moments in our lives. Every moment of our lives can teach us something if we but open our eyes to see the motivations behind our emotions and actions. There is always a root cause somewhere. Tracing those threads in our lives and discovering what they have to teach is the work we must do on our own.

There was a great deal of hidden esoteric symbolism in the movie as well. I thought it was very interesting that I could see it and that it was placed there for a reason. I am inspired by Christ and all the teachers presenting themselves to me past, present and future. I am encouraged in my quest to find and be Divine Love. Thank you for pushing me to face my fears. I encourage you to face those fears down one by one in your life until you find nothing holding you back from your Golden Dawn.

Life should be lived on the edge of life. You have to exercise rebellion: to refuse to tape yourself to rules, to refuse your own success, to refuse to repeat yourself, to see every day, every year, every idea as a true challenge – and then you are going to live your life on a tightrope.” – Philippe Petit

Circles in The Golden Dawn

Underneath the world I found a secret
I followed the Universe’s blue song
I found a golden thread

I pulled it from within
It unraveled my soul
Origin of origins

Golden threads leading
Golden path coming up fast

Legerdemain of the ancestors
I see blazing blue light of
The Mother and Father

Standing at the gates
Never looking back
I found the key in Love
I prayed for this future

I unlocked the Golden Path
Our best possible future awaits
A brotherhood of man

The Golden Dawn

We see the lines of causality from
The Future to the past and past to
The still point

Coming fast now
DNA/RNA recombining
The golden thread weaves
It’s way into my soul

The dawn draws us into the Circles
Woven together with golden thread

It lies behind the 9th door
Mystery no more
Angel wings covering
Alien songs filling my soul

Blind no more
Signs of awakening glistening
Across creation golden threads glint
In the light of the Golden Dawn

The worlds are ours
Come join in the light
Of The Golden Dawn

They stand on future shores

Love and Compassion

Hari Om Tat Sat

Moments in the Garden

Some new growth from my garden. Off to dance with my love.

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On the Road to Mendocino

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How does one intuit the right move to fit the moment
That is the question, how to see
To see the perfect moment

To have no destination is a freeing thing
The road unfolds before you
You feel new senses emerging

Peace as we move from moment to moment
What is security and where can it be found
The Truth of this way of living is simple

You can only stand in silence
You would stand still forever if the word was given
Back and forth and forth and back

What can you remember from the moments of your life
Did you feel the road
Where did it take you

Free connections inside and out
I feel like a painted picture
Rearranging the pigments and color

I don’t remember what I was so afraid of
I feel a presence along the road
Where are the others

I see you to my right and know I am home
This moment not just for myself
Loving this road to nowhere, there goes Mendocino

You Are A Painted Masterpiece, A Meditation

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You have stirred up some deep deep waters. I have a spring in me bubbling living water. I found the source moving without knowing, true wu wei. I am consuming the words of the Tao Te Ching as living water and Truth. I have found my line and center, The Master rises.

I found a voice in me singing to the Universe. It is mysterious and wonderful and I have a Joy I can’t contain, I blast it upon the world and into any close to me. Hear my cry and call warriors of the deep! Slay the misery and hate you see. Bring hope and peace where there is fear. Let your Love go before you, to the right and left. If you don’t know and feel this, go deep until the Joy is bubbling. Do not despair, you are born again! Deep cries out to deep. We are mystical seer poets! Alchemists of the Spirit. We are creating reality. We can kill with a word or bring living water.

We feel these dark sad times. We must share a new vision with the world and sing a new song! We who can see, must lead those lost in the darkness to living waters of the Spirit. This is why I write poetry. This is my naked heart.

Your soul is painted on a canvas that you can not see. The spirit of God sees our beauty outside of time and space. You are a masterpiece! Look with new eyes at the beauty of your and others Spirits and imagine what he sees when we all sing together. That is the world and dream I want to live in. That is the song I will sing and freely give to the world and will do so the rest of my life.

I feel your pain, love and wandering. I hear your cries for justice. I am but One. Rise warriors! My life will never be the same from this point. I can only move forward. The words of all my new friends inspire and humble me. You all have beautiful words. I have enjoyed singing and playing with you. Alchemy of the Spirit indeed! You don’t have to have words to sing your song. Live it connected to each other in Love and community. Our Love will crash across the Universe!

We come for you Emperor!

What I am Feeling Now

“Who am I? A conjurer of the soul.”

Let’s try a little experiment. Find a quiet place. Clear your mind. Listen to one of my favorite hymns below, one of our western chants from one of my favorite hymers, John Michael Talbot. This is a humble man. This man has gone deep, listen to his journey. They are powerful words and feelings. Let the words wash over you and see what you feel. Let the thoughts come and go, don’t hold onto one. Practice this and the voices will grow quieter when you desire them to and then you may hear something else. Focusing on the songs for awhile will help you to get past all the voices that you will start with and the words will be teaching you. Google, much guidance on compassionate and breathing meditation. I tell you, there be monsters and you need a rock to stand on, a shelter to go to when the wind is blowing.

I do not apologize for my faith. It is made of many things and I don’t know or believe anything. My goal is not distract you with my babblings, instead, to focus you. I want you to live uncomfortable lives not bound to anything, but anchored in the good things of Human life in balance. I will always be honest with you here. I don’t fully understand these things I write about, but I try to examine them through experience, before I share something. These are just my honest searchings that I am compelled to share with you. You have to always be honest if you are sharing your heart with others if you truly want to connect and know yourself. If you feel uncomfortable, that might be a good sign. Resist the proud and if someone has no Joy, they have not embraced the Truth! My experience tells me something good is here in that other deep place. I want you to see my pain, joy, Love and Hope! I don’t care what you believe, I am asking for you once, to stop believing and listen!

We are never whole, we are so many contradictions, but you must learn to hold your line in the world with SO MANY OTHER VOICES! Do not let anyone tell you who you are, know it, but be humble and put your skills in service to others as well, and you will find eternal waters of the soul helping you. No matter your faith or none, it is worth examining your life and motivations. It is worth becoming more peaceful and loving. You can do those things without a faith, crying into dark, try it, something will respond. Mysterious, no?

Trusting that voice within, you discover through stillness is not a bad thing. That is the only true voice you can trust. But you will move beyond questions and voices into a mystical place if you are truly seeking to find yourself with the right intent. You will see the ugly and beautiful in you, you are both. You must fix the damage, pull ou the roots of bitterness and unforgiveness. You have to act on the knowledge. You will begin to move without thinking. It could come out in many ways, writing, singing, playing music, something creative. I believe we all have that creative spark of the Divine. Does this all sound scary? No, of course not, this is the path of peace and Love you were meant to walk. Embrace this chance to listen and for once, be quiet! Remove what is negative and leave what is best. I do NOT apologize for the urgent tone, its never too late to stop, listen, and see the connections around you and forget your doubt and start to trust with little steps.

Why is everything outside of you trying to keep you from looking within? Why do we live in a consumer centric society? No mystery here, oldest bait and switch in the book. Keep you distracted with the magician’s assistant, why you are robbed and driven crazy with your doubts and fears of not being able to consume what you want.

You can not fear conspiracies!

You have to believe that what is in you is true and learn to trust the voice that does not covet or hate. Don’t ever take anyone else’s word for it, certainly not mine. See for yourself if you are so smart. If the Truth was for all, doesn’t it make sense it would be written in your heart. You don’t need people to discover Truth, but once you do, your life will dramatically change and connections will begin and then real living starts. There will always be work to do in yourself.

If this message offends the devout, ask yourself, what do you really want for the world? Do you want to get off a doomed spinning rock full of selfish humans?

Or does your heart feel for the lost and least of us? If you are on the right track, these feelings will get stronger I have found. One step at a time.

Do you long to help those around you, but feel trapped in your own selfishness and pride?

Let’s start a conversation about the Human spirit without all the religious words. I’m sorry to tell you this, but all religions in the world are mostly about tradition, but the Light is everywhere. You can see the Truth all around if you have but the eyes to see. We can not let these prejudices keep us from the Truth. People will always fail and disappoint you, but they can do heroic and courageous things too. Beautiful things.  It is a war within. I challenge you to just ask yourself what your intent is in creating, learning, living and loving. Sounds like a bunch of hooey spiritual crap? It isn’t.

Try to go to the first principles of a thing. Examine the heart of your doubt or faith.

And for God’s sake, be open and trust the process. I have spoken a lot about intent. It’s very important. It should be loving and balanced and reasonable. Don’t just seek for yourself.

I am a double minded man, who has to come back to his center often, as I am easily distracted. I have been meditating, a lot. I have been using a lot of music to help me really go deeper. My mind is clear now. I can quickly enter into that quiet space, but I feel I am hitting something. Working through it. I am changing somehow. I don’t understand it. I wrote most of this blog from a place I have just discovered. Letting the words out, heals me and I hope it provides you a little encouragement and Light in your life. Peace and with much Love, the management.

Check out Hearts of Space, lots of great meditation music.