The other day I took a walk and I stopped for a bit and found myself staring off into space thinking about a fish or something. Something caught my eye in a thick bunch of vines with orange pink flowers.
I saw a leaf move strangely I thought, must be a stick bug. I thought I saw a small arm. I didn’t move, my breathing slowed down as if someone poured honey in my mouth.
I began to feel quite thirsty. I saw the leaf move weirdly again, but this time I saw a small hand holding a golden thimble slowly reaching out of a thick thicket of flowers. All my hairs stood at attention and the air felt electric blue and had a golden odor. My god I gasped, it was a a faery girl almost as if she leaped off a page.
As I was quite thirsty, and feeling like I could trust this little faery, I thought, why not. Now I see I was bedazzled, which isn’t quite fair now is it. I had no inhibitions at all in that golden blue light. I took the thimble and said thank you, and then sniffed the golden thimble. It had the strangest earthy smell that hung in your senses. The thimble was warm and seemed to actually be glowing.
So I drank the little thimble down and almost immediately my body was electrified and I felt waves of electricity crackling over my skin, little golden sparks were popping all around me. I immediately fell backwards stiff as a statue.
I felt frozen. No thoughts. Eyes staring into nothing. Then I saw a little face peer up from around my ear and I heard, I’m sorry I had to do that to you. But you never know what kind of human you may meet. That seemed practical to me. She said I would soon be able to move, but she wanted to have a little chat first. This seemed reasonable to me at the time.
At this point, looking back, it all seems like a dream. I remember waking up alone. Very groggy. With a taste in my mouth like I had eaten moss. I’m not sure what we spoke about. I just can’t remember. I do remember her face very clearly. I also felt totally refreshed and had energy pulsing to get up and get back to the car. I’m sure it was all a dream now.
Be careful who you take a drink from. Especially if they offer you a golden glowing thimble.
Let’s try a little experiment. Find a quiet place. Clear your mind. Listen to one of my favorite hymns below, one of our western chants from one of my favorite hymers, John Michael Talbot. This is a humble man. This man has gone deep, listen to his journey. They are powerful words and feelings. Let the words wash over you and see what you feel. Let the thoughts come and go, don’t hold onto one. Practice this and the voices will grow quieter when you desire them to and then you may hear something else. Focusing on the songs for awhile will help you to get past all the voices that you will start with and the words will be teaching you. Google, much guidance on compassionate and breathing meditation. I tell you, there be monsters and you need a rock to stand on, a shelter to go to when the wind is blowing.
I do not apologize for my faith. It is made of many things and I don’t know or believe anything. My goal is not distract you with my babblings, instead, to focus you. I want you to live uncomfortable lives not bound to anything, but anchored in the good things of Human life in balance. I will always be honest with you here. I don’t fully understand these things I write about, but I try to examine them through experience, before I share something. These are just my honest searchings that I am compelled to share with you. You have to always be honest if you are sharing your heart with others if you truly want to connect and know yourself. If you feel uncomfortable, that might be a good sign. Resist the proud and if someone has no Joy, they have not embraced the Truth! My experience tells me something good is here in that other deep place. I want you to see my pain, joy, Love and Hope! I don’t care what you believe, I am asking for you once, to stop believing and listen!
We are never whole, we are so many contradictions, but you must learn to hold your line in the world with SO MANY OTHER VOICES! Do not let anyone tell you who you are, know it, but be humble and put your skills in service to others as well, and you will find eternal waters of the soul helping you. No matter your faith or none, it is worth examining your life and motivations. It is worth becoming more peaceful and loving. You can do those things without a faith, crying into dark, try it, something will respond. Mysterious, no?
Trusting that voice within, you discover through stillness is not a bad thing. That is the only true voice you can trust. But you will move beyond questions and voices into a mystical place if you are truly seeking to find yourself with the right intent. You will see the ugly and beautiful in you, you are both. You must fix the damage, pull ou the roots of bitterness and unforgiveness. You have to act on the knowledge. You will begin to move without thinking. It could come out in many ways, writing, singing, playing music, something creative. I believe we all have that creative spark of the Divine. Does this all sound scary? No, of course not, this is the path of peace and Love you were meant to walk. Embrace this chance to listen and for once, be quiet! Remove what is negative and leave what is best. I do NOT apologize for the urgent tone, its never too late to stop, listen, and see the connections around you and forget your doubt and start to trust with little steps.
Why is everything outside of you trying to keep you from looking within? Why do we live in a consumer centric society? No mystery here, oldest bait and switch in the book. Keep you distracted with the magician’s assistant, why you are robbed and driven crazy with your doubts and fears of not being able to consume what you want.
You can not fear conspiracies!
You have to believe that what is in you is true and learn to trust the voice that does not covet or hate. Don’t ever take anyone else’s word for it, certainly not mine. See for yourself if you are so smart. If the Truth was for all, doesn’t it make sense it would be written in your heart. You don’t need people to discover Truth, but once you do, your life will dramatically change and connections will begin and then real living starts. There will always be work to do in yourself.
If this message offends the devout, ask yourself, what do you really want for the world? Do you want to get off a doomed spinning rock full of selfish humans?
Or does your heart feel for the lost and least of us? If you are on the right track, these feelings will get stronger I have found. One step at a time.
Do you long to help those around you, but feel trapped in your own selfishness and pride?
Let’s start a conversation about the Human spirit without all the religious words. I’m sorry to tell you this, but all religions in the world are mostly about tradition, but the Light is everywhere. You can see the Truth all around if you have but the eyes to see. We can not let these prejudices keep us from the Truth. People will always fail and disappoint you, but they can do heroic and courageous things too. Beautiful things. It is a war within. I challenge you to just ask yourself what your intent is in creating, learning, living and loving. Sounds like a bunch of hooey spiritual crap? It isn’t.
Try to go to the first principles of a thing. Examine the heart of your doubt or faith.
And for God’s sake, be open and trust the process. I have spoken a lot about intent. It’s very important. It should be loving and balanced and reasonable. Don’t just seek for yourself.
I am a double minded man, who has to come back to his center often, as I am easily distracted. I have been meditating, a lot. I have been using a lot of music to help me really go deeper. My mind is clear now. I can quickly enter into that quiet space, but I feel I am hitting something. Working through it. I am changing somehow. I don’t understand it. I wrote most of this blog from a place I have just discovered. Letting the words out, heals me and I hope it provides you a little encouragement and Light in your life. Peace and with much Love, the management.