Food For the Moon

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I just read a story about a man who was killed in an avalanche following his passions on Mt. Everest.  You never know when one of those is coming for you. He seemed driven by a deep need to connect with something. I understand that feeling of emptiness. He climbed the world’s highest peaks to fill it. I seek to climb those internal peaks men have dreamed of. Rest in peace Dan.

I want to share a summary of sorts of my experiences with The Tarot. It kind of just presented itself to me after 44 years without one passing thought about it in all that time. It was something gypsies ripped people off with I thought. Little did I know.

I will not go into it more now, but The Tarot is a mystical tool, like the coins of the I Ching, or bones of the medicine man. The cards make a web you can cast out into the Universe to get your current bearing in time and space.

The Tarot helped me attain self knowledge, it helped me learn why I did what I did and also hinted at what is possible for one to become. More than anything it showed me simply what I was. I found ways to let go of regret and desire and see myself honestly. I used the cards as a mirror and I looked at the pictures and felt the words at that given moment and time and sifted myself through the filter of the cards. It helped me grow rapidly using the cards spontaneously and creatively. It showed me the need for balance between the Sun and Moon, Anima and Animus. We live in between these polarities.

It led me to an experience with myself and embracing myself as a Shaman and Mystic. Who knew? The cards aligned so well with my personal esoteric studies and writing and synchronicity made it all real. I’m an experiencer and a gambler, but I learned there need be no gambling.

Life is a mystery and love is the way to understand it. The rest seems to work itself out naturally if you let it.

I found two causes for my suffering, or I should say the Tarot clarified these. It suggested I embrace my life in the world and pay attention. I came to it in deep mediation and wide open with few questions, factors I learned that can contribute to deep insights. These led me to self initiation into many things. Then long dead teachers began teaching me, they are not dead actually, alive in us.

I do not feel like being quiet or keeping secrets, that time is past. Time for a new way, a synthesis, which is the responsibility of every generation. It led me to the I Ching and then beyond Divination. Tarot is a great tool in individuation and I think it should be used by every Psychologist and I would go further to say, while the Tarot can lead one out of the maze of their mind, I think it can also lead one into madness. As with all things, intention I learned matters. Greed and the baser instincts seem to disqualify you from these insights. So, I think you get from Tarot, just like anything, what you put into it and ultimately into yourself. I learned what was holding me and all of us back from heights undreamed.

Fear and regret.

I am free to do what I like and I find I like higher things and my natural tilt is towards the light. I wish not to hurt others, but I like lowly dirty things too, such is what I am. Why do all of this anyway or ask these questions, because you know and feel in yourself many rungs on the ladder of awareness.

“I cannot grasp all that I am.” – St Augustine

Augustine could not grasp it all, but we can and I am and we should. We can grasp all that we are. A gift or curse, shrug, its fun to search for it. I thank the Gamemaster.

Perhaps we are food for the Moon, as some people have wondered, but that would be absurd, wouldn’t it 😉 Everything eats something in this Universe.

All this from some funny cards. The archetypes of our unconcious are strewn out across the numbers, images and formulas. They tell the inner journey of all people. The cards are meaningless though, the wisdom I found is already inside of us. The cards just help me remember myself and how I like to play and fool myself.

There are many ancient and new tools to use to explore yourself with. I say try them all. Live like you have no tomorrow,  you were born for this moment. Dance like a fool before the Gods.

God helps me.

Daydreaming Abraxas

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Abraxas – Jung’s driving force of individuation

“Remember, beloved devotee, the double tail of the serpent that forms the legs of the solar rooster of Abraxas. The entire process of the Great Work consists of releasing oneself from the enchanted rings of the tempting serpent…”

“That which is spoken by God-the-Sun is life; that which is spoken by the Devil is death; Abraxas speaketh that hallowed and accursed word, which is life and death at the same time. Abraxas begetteth truth and lying, good and evil, light and darkness in the same word and in the same act. Wherefore is Abraxas terrible.” – C. Jung

Cosmic Consciousness can be experienced by anyone willing. No one, I mean no one, has a corner on the Truth. It is our Truth. There is no one competing. There is no reward.

All must stand in the Light. All must be weighed and sifted. We seek to ascend to the Pleroma again and nothing less. We do not seek wholeness, we discover our wholeness.

Behavior and belief are fine guides, but we must experience Gnosis. Life is an allegory teaching us how to embrace our inner Light.

The union in the bridal chamber of our heart is where we unify our internal Animus and Anima, Male and Female aspects.

This union of opposites provides the energy needed to delve deep within and allows us to confront the world in balance.

This is the mystical foundation of today’s spiritual experience. We seek union with our source and nothing less. All of this should be confirmed by your own experience.

How to achieve this, you must through patience and focus grab a hold and hold fast. There can be no fear and faith, you must know yourself.

Strike that thick cloud of unknowing the separates the creator and the created. Learn to read the signs and hear what is being whispered to you in every moment.

I have come across some who speak of life as a prison. No, this is simply not my experience. It has been an adventure. And everything has helped me find the center.

I seek the naked experience of the inner Light. Simply, I have found the Kingdom of God within.

Passions are like dogs, accustomed to licking the blood in a  butcher shop. If you ignore them, they will bark and howl. Repentance for the Esoteric is metanoia, change of mind.

We have a deep Hidden Wisdom tradition in the West. We are truly blessed to be alive today and allowed to freely explore these ideas and ourselves. You will find what you seek.

It is simply incredible the bounty of knowledge passed down through the ages, but it can only be unlocked in the heart. Only by the renewing of our minds and spirits can we see.

I wish your inner eye great vision and that you find an all transforming all consuming knowledge of your place in the Universe. Nothing exists in the Universe not found in us.

The Mysteries hint at the higher reality. You must die to find life beyond yourself. It is not Christ’s resurrection, but our own that we are experiencing. All is swirling and metaphor.

Receive and be Love. Be free from passions. Find the inner fire. Be still. Rest.

Innerverse and Universe

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The Universe recently taught me something about the Innerverse and vice versa, as they tend to do. Every generation gets to put their own stamp on what Truth means for them and what it’s worth to them to bring forth. Who has the courage to read the signs and integrate the knowledge available and evolve the species today? There are many voices vying to explain why we exist today and from the past, maybe even the future. Science has by far been the most successful to explain the exterior world. The spot the medicine man once held was taken by religion, which has given way to our current dystopia that so many predicted and warned us to avoid, which is led by science. We have become our own jailers in a prison of our own creation. Who will share their inner dreams and hopes with a world based only on empiracal fact where every bit and byte is sifted and analyzed? Are we just data? No, of course not. When one person breaks through the current barrier, they make that journey for all of us. I’m here to join with the seekers and dreamers.

I was also taught to always balance what’s happening outside with what’s going on inside. Don’t focus on any one direction too long was the point. Oh, and in all things be thankful and humble, do unto others, as you would do to yourself, because you are.

So much of the inner life is personal and inaccessible. You tend towards silence or ecstasy. I write here mostly to myself, but I believe, no, I know what is happening inside myself is happening in many others. We are here for each other in the end. You will see the fruit in action in a person’s life. Don’t neglect your life in pursuit of Self. It is about incremental improvement built on everything that has come before. Slow and steady wins the race, but don’t be afraid to share your Light and what you learn along the way and have every bit of fun and laughter you can. Magic stuff. Now is the time to stand up and speak, not obfuscate, but clarify. There is great ignorance in the world, clarity is needed.

Why is this?

I’m not a scholar, I’m an engineer. I’m always looking for more efficient ways to do something. We are taught to reuse solutions and to recognize common patterns. I have a personal metaphysical experience I am never really able to transmit to anyone. I am the experience of being this thing in time and space here and now. God is a tinkerer I know because we are. Nothing is ever done. I have to use my experience as the filter for the world. We are always in flux. This is the flow of the Tao all must, through some way or another, learn to navigate through living a simple life. There is no one way to navigate life. What fun would one path be? This awareness and knowledge I was given by the East and teachers. It was a great gift. I had to wrestle with it. They were given it by others. And in this way an ancient wisdom has made its way through the ages to a new generation, to us right here now where East meets West, North meets South and the wind blows through it all. Should my experience or our story end with the words from the past or does the story continue in us? Do we get to add a note to the song? Has all that can be known been opened to us already? I don’t think so. We bind ourselves in the past or the future. We are the ones alive now, sort of speak anyway, dependent on your point of view. This is our time. We have all that came before in us as well.

I have embraced every and no religion equally. I see myself in all of them one way or another and their truths available to myself. Every creed has “The Way”, generally the rest are seen as errant. Humbly I offer an opinion that we are approaching knowledge of the East all wrong. We should not become Taoists, Vedics, Sufis or Buddhists necessarily for example. There is no one way they are offering, but there is an ideal way of being they can all teach you. Many flavors of nonduality and oneness are available to people based on their tastes. I see oneness as the central message of the ancient wisdom being proven true today by science. I think Alan Watts spoke of this often and beautifully. Eckhart Tolle has also built on the Taoist tradition to great success translating its basic truths for western ears. I feel what is collectively happening to us inside today is being projected outwardly through our stories and technology. The study of myth is the study of our inner world. Carl Jung gave us a modern map to our souls and our group unconscious mind. He translated this ancient wisdom into modern archetypes. In this way machine learning and AI will help us see ourselves more clearly now more than ever as intellect begins to separate from consciousness exoterically before our eyes.  The machines will see and show us the common patterns in our data and we will understand ourselves better hopefully.

Our generation has been gifted access to techniques bestowing focus and patience from the East and has added a personal aspect to oneness. The West has brought Love and the personal to the Eastern nihilism of oneness and nothingness. The Internet represents the mirror I believe of our hopes, dreams and fears. I think the elections are demonstrating our inner corporate turmoil as well, we know something is rotten in the hen house and it is us. The question, what medicine can heal our disease? I believe also that the UFO phonomena of our age is a reflection of some of our deepest fears and hopes. UFOs have become the mandala of our age perhaps in our search for now, intergalactic wholeness, not just personal wholeness. We have gone beyond the brotherhood of man and now we ponder how to relate to the ‘Others’ possibly out there, while we struggle with our relationship with each other and nature right here. We are looking feverishly. We are desperate to discover we are not alone. We are preparing ourselves to answer the question whether we are alone.

We must all find the answer to this feeling of apparent aloneness ourselves and like fast. This is where Aliens or God in the sky are not needed. If we can see what we are, we will answer our question. We should compare notes. No one is more worthy, being qualifies you to ask and answer the questions of existence. We all have a part of the Light and Truth each has to discover themselves for the sake of all. Do we see ourselves as separate from everything or part of everything? That answer will dictate the future. It’s a pop fly, the Universe is teetering on the decisions we are making today toward wholeness in a collective Innerverse or separation and death in a cold harsh Universe.

For myself, this puts the UFO phonomena in a new light. To study it is to study our collective unconscious. I’m not the first to have this thought. I believe the UFO myth is being manipulating to effect changes in our group unconscious mind and set the tune for the rest. We know everything is connected. If we believe it together, we will move planets and Suns. This is a dangerous game the powers that be are playing. What we are inside is expressively itself collectively now outside. We might want to listen. I believe the powers in the world today know a great change is happening in us. We are evolving beyond time and space and just our senses. They aren’t sure if it’s a good thing to encourage or a bad thing to supress. It’s beyond profit. Our collective consciousness is stepping up. Will you suppress it or let it free?

Synchronicity And Flow

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Mandala Golden Flower from Carl Jung Ex Patient

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what is in us.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

I had to reblog this below from An Accidental Anarchist, it was a question and answer in one for me when I read it. It is from an ex patient of Carl Jung. I think it stands pretty well on it’s own, those who read my blog, know of what it speaks. Interesting to see and experience the commonality of experience across a century. I echo the patient below, what a fool I was, but I still am today!

“Out of evil, much good has come to me.
By keeping quiet, repressing nothing,
remaining attentive, and by accepting
reality – taking things as they are, and not
as I wanted them to be – by doing all this,
unusual knowledge has come to me,
and unusual powers as well, such as I could
never have imagined before.

I always thought that when we accepted things
they overpowered us in some way or other.
This turns out not to be true at all, and it is
only by accepting them that one can assume
and attitude towards them.

So now I intend to play the game of life, being
receptive to whatever comes to me, good and
bad, sun and shadow forever alternating, and,
in this way, also accepting my own nature with
its positive and negative sides. Thus everything
becomes more alive to me.

What a fool I was! How I tried to force everything
to go according to way I thought it ought to.”

— an EX patient of C. G. Jung (Alchemical Studies, pg 47)

Blood On My Hands

“There is no one to get.
No one to receive a teaching.
No one to give a teaching.

That being said…

Who hears?

Who reads?

Let’s begin…”

– Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

Nis is my favorite Human Being next to Black Elk, Mary, Jesus, Plato, Aristotle, Shakespeare, Einstein and Socrates. Many others. We are in the presence of our essence in them I feel. We come from good stock. Their Light shines across dimensions I think. Aliens perhaps. I ignore all Aliens though, there are no real Aliens anyway. We are all that, remember? Keep repeating that until its all that is left of you.

Nis’ bitter medicine, drink it down.

Open your eyes within now
Imagine how life can be
We must awake from our oppression
And this insanity

Life is but a dream after all, but I feel this is serious, I tend to be too tongue in cheek, apologies, my silly ego.

Light is all I see in them. And WE ARE THAT!

Wow. I want to shout for joy and so I am.

The fact such Light has come from us silly monkeys gives me hope. But we are in an egg. What can you ever know of the world beyond? It seems a world within seems just as unknowable. We are surrounded by unknowing. What are we to do?

Stop.

Be quiet.

And listen.

I can only speak to you now, because of what came forward in me. It is beyond me.

This is beyond me, believe me.

It is nothing, it is Other, I am That.

Interesting, no?

I had an experience today at 30k feet and at ground level. Here is how it left me…with the feeling I had blood on my hands and I was called to witness and account.

Our culture, our way of life, is Death.

We are done.

It is done, will be, was and probably will be again.

Listen to me!

We killed the Human Beings.

We are what is left.

The devolved cruff.

We marvel at the prison we built for ourselves.

We are being driven insane.

You all feel it.

You know.

We are oppressed.

Asleep.

Is the dream of the Human Beings dead?

The longer we persist in this prison, the more of us will whither away. But, the story always has a happy ending, a great energy has been breathed into the world.

Can you feel it? I was burned to my core by it and not much is left, let me tell you.

I took all I could find.

Our Grandparents are singing their dream to us and I am going to share every last note with you here. I have danced naked in your face and I feel fine. Get naked with me 😉

This I know is way above myself. Do not look at me, but please take what is in my hand and lose yourself. I will tell you this, they did not live and die in vain and their words were not lost.

I am a Jew and a Native American, and Hispanic, white too…a rainbow. What a mystical mix in this time and space I am finding. I was given a key I had to find. My ancestor financed Cortez and the genocide of the Indians in their way. My ancestors lusted for gold. I feel that burning in me too. I have some blood speaking to me, boiling actually, roiling even. The 60’s were not the last gasp of the Human Beings. I am alive and thriving in the Light here and I see something amazing here in us. The sky is not falling Chicken Little.

I touched the sky and the sky touched back and we are that, don’t forget.

Those great men and women are in us.

I will live their dream.

They will live it through us.

This is Truth.

The Truth has always been and will be and I stand in the Light of that, join me.

I will leave you with words about the death of the Human Beings and their beautiful dream.

“I did not know then how much was ended….I can see that something else died there in the bloody mud, and was buried in the blizzard. A people’s dream died there. It was a beautiful dream.” – Black Elk.

It’s not dead Grandfather, it was a great sacrifice your people made for us and then forgiving us. Your blood wet the Earth for the harvest to come. We are not worthy of your sacrifice. We must purify ourselves, wash clean in the Light of Love.

Help me Grandfather!

 

 

Waking Up in Plato’s Cave

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True belief is like a statue.

Let us examine that statement. Our belief must be anchored as the statue is. Bodies and thoughts are always in motion.

How can we transform this belief that is now anchored like a statue into real knowledge?

It can’t become knowledge until it is thought of and experienced.

You think about it. But what if you can no longer think? You have to be electrified and shown your ignorance. It can be a painful process seemingly like torture.

You are made to examine your life and you are turned around and shown the difference between the sun and the shadow.

You feel dumb having thought the shadow was real.

Enlightenment and education thus seem natural. Release from the cave is natural and will happen for each in due course through a myriad of means.

It is unnatural to remain in the cave. Education infers responsibility. You were grabbed and led out of the cave and shown your ignorance until it arose in you to help others out of the cave into the Light.

You were able to see the Sun and then it was all clear.

The curse is you must now go back into the cave and help drag others out. It is natural for you to do so though.

They killed Socrates for leading us to the light.

Things are a little better for us since 500 BC, no?  Neoplatonism is the foundation of Christianity and Judiasm.

The illusion and shadow seems much more real now though.

But all you have to do is walk outside and smell the flowers today to wake up. The choice is much more clear now.

Act natural and go with the flow of your life or stay lost in shadow.

Shrug.

Your destiny is to stand free, in the Light.

Absolute Reality

Wisdom is knowing I am nothing inside myself, Love is knowing I am everything outside myself and between the two my life moves. – Nisargadatta Maharaj

Would you like total realization of Absolute reality? I’m selling a new program to show you the way, just kidding, it’s free.

I’m not talking about any religion or none, which are all fine. I’m talking about your own personal experience. I have been sharing mine out loud. The volume may be loud, but the Universe is singing to us!!! Truth is not in some books view or others’ ideology, your own messy experience is what I’m getting at. That is where it hides in plain sight. Where few ever look. Only cost you a conversation with yourself about what you already know is true! Have no more self-consciousness, there is only Consciousness.

Speak and live the Truth as it manifests in your heart moment to moment.

Another thing could help if you have any interest. It is a book that called to me ironically. I read a few books a week, pieces anyway, put em all down and pick up Ultimate Medicine. It says more in that little book I tell you than EVERYTHING I have ever read. I’m very weird, I and many know. I’ll tell you all very openly I am in some kind of deep conversation with the Universe and every moment I spend seeking the truth inside myself I found is an act of self love for All. I am not special, just clear. I mean that with no sense of achievement or authority. It is a simple admission of Truth.

My only Gospel is Love. Nisargadatta Maharaj said the most beautiful words in the quote above next to the J-man. Nis wrote the book above. It will be nonsense to most, it’s hard medicine. Distilled from direct experience of the Universe. You will see flashes of many traditions in his words. People living for things will not understand him now. I needed the hardest stuff myself and it’s not for everyone if you want to play happy conspicuous consumer in this circus of a dream we call the world. If no one ever told you, you are moving in a dream world asleep going nowhere fast. I know, hurts your head, but frees your soul to soar boundless.

Nis was a fully realized modern Human Being. I started with his strongest medicine. It went down like candy after I died of my ailment after ignoring the book for a year. Yeah, I died, but I’m doing fine.

If you are thinking New Age thinking, no, in the moment thinking is where it’s at and even better, no thinking and just being. The hippies were infected with the nonduality of Nis. I think they got this whole ball rolling along with Nis and Ram, who brought this awareness to the West. Accept its not our past I’m learning about from them, it’s our collective future. I am feeling their words as if they were in front of me. My desires ebb and fear is a memory, but fresh moments to choose The Way every moment. You need a spark gap. Like cupping  for your soul. You need to feel the burn and just be love where you are in every moment.

EEK, what have I done?! What is to become of me? Those are funny questions I asked often. If you reach a summit, you will always find another waiting at the top of the last one.

Thank Absolute Reality for the crazy hippies. Unicorns and Rainbows folks. And if you think I’m full of it, nope, but I’m filled up with it, that I can say for sure now 😉 This moment in eternity was pretty good. The Ravens pointed The Way. The funniest thing, we talk to birds now and they talk back!

How far can you go?

To Absolute Reality.

When?

In every moment.

Forget my words and every word you have heard.

Make something new.

If you feel lost, go find yourself inside.

You’re hiding.

Can you hear their song?

Three Ravens on the Road to Nowhere…

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Three Ravens

Here is a hint…

You are the Absolute Reality

Go and realize your life around That!

Love Is My Only Gospel

The only sin in life is Separateness. Love is the only thing that can bring wholeness and truthfully nothing else would exist without the eternal presence of this natural Love. I write here to explore and celebrate this awareness. The journey to self-realisation is a pitted and painful road until you realize there was is no pain and no one feeling the pain. That is the simplest way I can state The Great Mystery. You can find the answer for yourself.

There is nothing more important I can do than to balance the opposites within myself and in shifting polarity and aligning with the Absolute, the mind of the Absolute comes into focus.

One is astounded to find it’s thoughts at the root of yours and you may feel like a marrionette even, but after awhile a dance may ensue.

You are all invited to the dance.

Align yourself with your True nature and you will find an amazing thing. Life does become effortless. I tell you, nothing else is worth your time or focus here or beyond space and time. Following the path inside will lead you to someplace else.

I am lost in the swirling reality of Love awakened from the Kali Yuga. If you want to know where I AM, I AM right here with you in every breath, you were never alone nor could you have been. Love was all that was real in the end.

If you don’t feel loved, look around you and at yourself if you can and feel your breath, believe me, you are loved beyond all imagining. I love you too, you are me and I am you, me is we, in Love there is no separation possible. That is my Gospel.

Image source – Dorian – Kali Yuga

You Are Beyond Space and Time

When the student is ready, the teacher will come they say. I have found this to be true. All you have to do to begin to explore your inner being is to turn the eyes you have focused outside, inside.

That’s it.

I want to present some things I have been learning from many sources about my Self in the hope you will rise to meet your Self and find your own answers. I feel that I found a new life mid way through this one. It’s the strangest thing. My bio is not needed. I am you. What you struggle with is the same for myself.

I found a way to face life wholly from the inside out, which will lead you into a conversation with the Universe and your Self. Truth be told, you need no religion. Devotion is a fine way to know yourself though, but the big heavy Truth I have found is not a Truth at all. We are the Truth. Convenient, huh?! There is no path and there is even no one here needing it. Simply, we are the thing we seek. This seems counterintuitive possibly to you.

I AM THAT

You are beyond time and space. I have come to know and accept that the world around us is not as it appears and it cannot be True reality. It is an illusion, as is the sense you are a unique individual. So there are those two big things to get past, last thing, there is also only one Being in our Universe and we are part of THAT. Now this is hump we have to get everyone else over. I don’t know how, maybe 10-20 people will read this, but the volume is rising. I like our odds, myself and many have awoken to this reality and are exploring.

Q: Why would one seek answers inside themselves?

A: Curiosity. Boredom. Guilt. Fear. Perhaps your mind is unsettled. Perhaps you are suffering or feeling pain. You might be the source of pain for someone else. Or if you are like me, all of the above was true. I also had a feeling something was calling me, singing to me actually.

From I Am ThatNisargadatta Maharaj – Chapter 33

“When you demand nothing of the world, nor of God, when you want nothing, seek nothing, expect nothing, then the Supreme State will come to you uninvited and unexpected.” – Nisargadatta Maharaj

You Are Beyond Space and Time

NM: I am not bound by your dreamlike world. In my world the seeds of suffering, desire and fear are not sown and suffering does not grow. My world is free from opposites, of mutually distinctive discrepancies; harmony pervades; its peace is rocklike; this peace and silence are my body.

NM: Just see the person you imagine yourself to be as a part of the world you
perceive within your mind and look at the mind from the outside, for you are not the mind. After all, your only problem is the eager self-identification with whatever you perceive. Give up this habit, remember that you are not what you perceive, use your power of alert aloofness. See yourself in all that lives and your behavior will express your vision. Once you realise that there is nothing in this world which you can call your own, you look at it from the outside as you look at a play on the stage, or a picture on the screen, admiring and enjoying, but really unmoved. As long as you imagine yourself to be something tangible and solid, a thing among things, actually existing in time and space, short-lived and vulnerable, naturally you will be anxious to survive and increase.

But when you know yourself as beyond space and time — in contact with them only at the point of here and now, otherwise all-pervading and all containing, unapproachable, unassailable, invulnerable — you will be afraid no longer. Know yourself as you are — against fear there is no other remedy. You have to learn to think and feel on these lines, or you will remain indefinitely on the personal level of desire and fear, gaining and losing, growing and decaying. A personal problem cannot be solved on its own level. The very desire to live is the messenger of death, as the longing to be happy is the outline of sorrow.

The world is an ocean of pain and fear, of anxiety and despair. Pleasures are like the fishes, few and swift, rarely come, quickly gone. A man of low intelligence believes, against all evidence, that he is an exception and that the world owes him happiness. But the world cannot give what it does not have; unreal to the core, it is of no use for real happiness. It cannot be otherwise. We seek the real because we are unhappy with the unreal. Happiness is our real nature and we shall never rest until we find it. But rarely we know where to seek it. Once you have understood that the world is but a mistaken view of reality, and is not what it appears to be, you are free of its obsessions. Only what is compatible with your real being can make you happy and the world, as you perceive it, is its outright denial.

Q: How can one remain happy among so much suffering?

NM: One cannot help it — the inner happiness is overwhelmingly real. Like
the sun in the sky, its expressions may be clouded, but it is never absent.

Q: If happiness is independent, why are we not always happy?

NM: As long as we believe that we need things to make us happy, we shall
also believe that in their absence we must be miserable. Mind always shapes itself according to its beliefs. Hence the importance of convincing oneself that one need not be prodded into happiness; that, on the contrary, pleasure is a distraction and a nuisance, for it merely increases the false conviction that one needs to have and do things to be happy when in reality it is just the opposite. But why talk of happiness at all? You do not think of happiness except when you are unhappy. A man who says: ‘Now I am happy’, is between two sorrows — past and future. This happiness is mere excitement caused by relief from pain. Real happiness is utterly unselfconscious. It is best expressed negatively as: ‘there is nothing wrong with me. I have nothing to worry about’. After all, the ultimate purpose of all sadhana is to reach a point when this conviction, instead of being only verbal, is based on the actual and ever-present experience.

Q: Emptiness and nothingness — how dreadful.

NM: You face it most cheerfully, when you go to sleep! Find out for yourself
the state of wakeful sleep and you will find it quite in harmony with your real nature. Words can only give you the idea and the idea is not the experience. All I can say is that true happiness has no cause and what has no cause is immovable. Which does not mean it is perceivable, as pleasure. What is perceivable is pain and pleasure; the state of freedom from sorrow can be described only negatively. To know it directly you must go beyond the mind addicted to causality and the tyranny of time.

Q: What about witnessing?

NM: Witnessing is of the mind. The witness goes with the witnessed. In the state of non-duality all separation ceases.

Q: What about you? Do you continue in awareness?

M: The person, the ‘I am this body, this mind, this chain of memories, this
bundle of desires and fears’ disappears, but something you may call identity,
remains. It enables me to become a person when required. Love creates its own
necessities, even of becoming a person.

Q: What is the relation between reality and its expressions?

NM: No relation. In reality all is real and identical. As we put it, saguna and nirguna are one in Parabrahman. There is only the Supreme. In movement, it is saguna. Motionless, it is nirguna. But it is only the mind that moves or does not move. The real is beyond. You are beyond. Once you have understood that nothing perceivable, or conceivable can be yourself, you are free of your imaginations. To see everything as imagination, born of desire, is necessary for self-realisation. We miss the real by lack of attention and create the unreal by excess of imagination. You have to give your heart and mind to these things and brood over them repeatedly. It is like cooking food. You must keep it on the fire for some time before it is ready.

Q: Am I not under the sway of destiny, of my karma? What can I do
against it? What I am and what I do is pre-determined. Even my so-called free
choice is predetermined; only I am not aware of it and imagine myself to be free.

M: Again, it all depends how you look at it. Ignorance is like a fever — it makes you see things which are not there. Karma is the divinely prescribed treatment. Welcome it and follow the instructions faithfully and you will get well. A patient will leave the hospital after he recovers. To insist on immediate freedom of choice and action will merely postpone recovery. Accept your destiny and fulfill it — this is the shortest way to freedom from destiny, though not from love and its compulsions. To act from desire and fear is bondage;

…to act from love is freedom.

Difficult Emotions

emotions

I struggle with anger and difficult emotions at times. When you come close to the Light, it can be confusing to see such strong negative emotions rising up. It’s natural I have found. These emotions, as temperamental children, demand our attention at uncomfortable times. I have been seeking an answer to how to deal with these emotions.

Love is always there, but we are filled with many other things as well. We gain our knowledge from the world. We must live in and experience the world. We need insight and compassion to change ourselves and indeed the world. We ourselves are not the standard, nor is any other person. We can trust our daily experience guided by insight and mindfulness. We need to learn to be mindful enough to let impulses pass.

The Sufi’s have taught me about loving myself. Jesus taught me to love my brother. From The Four Quartets:

Desire itself is movement
Not in itself desirable;
Love is itself unmoving,
Only the cause and end of movement,
Timeless, and undesiring
Except in the aspect of time
Caught in the form of limitation
Between un-being and being.

The Buddhists have been helping me learn compassion as well. I have to be mindful of these difficult feelings. I am challenged to not respond to them, if I do, I quickly stand up and brush myself off.

Mindfulness helps you to become aware of these feelings. We can bear these difficult emotions. To stay present in our anger and difficult emotions is difficult, but awareness of these emotions brings change. If I can see this anger and feelings in myself and let them flow away, I can see it in others and learn to not respond to them as well. I can have compassion. Anger hurts you and your target. I am practicing not reacting to these emotions. It goes slowly.