breathe free

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hey
you there
slow down
your breath
match mine
there you go
follow me
I’ll take you down
breathing my breath
feeling the flow
now lifting you up
freeing your soul

Darkness

nothing now here
or over there
in darkness clear
have no fear
no death in night
when love shines so bright

Dancing Emptiness

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Thou who art I, beyond all I am,
Who hast no nature and no name,
Who art, when all but thou are gone,
Thou, centre and secret of the Sun,
Thou, hidden spring of all things known
And unknown, Thou aloof, alone,
Thou, the true fire within the reed
Brooding and breeding, source and seed
Of life, love, liberty, and light,
Thou beyond speech and beyond sight,
Thee I invoke, my faint fresh fire
Kindling as mine intents aspire.
Thee I invoke, abiding one,
Thee, centre and secret of the Sun,
And that most holy mystery
Of which the vehicle am I.
Appear, most awful and most mild,
As it is lawful, in thy child
!” – The Beast

No Path

nopath

I exhausted myself, looking.
No one ever finds this by trying.
I melted into it and came home,
Where every jar is full,
But no one drinks
.” – Lalla

There is no path to the higher Self.

There is no external salvation.

There is no enlightenment.

There is no escape from your predicament.

Heaven is here now.

Hell is here now.

Choose which you will inhabit.

This is the Best Possible World, here and now, you don’t go again.

This is you being confronted with the Truth of Self, what will you choose?

This is the eternal moment…now…now…now…now.

Not only is there no one here seeking, there is nothing to find.

Let me say that again…

THERE IS NOTHING TO FIND AND NO ONE HERE SEEKING

Gibberish? I know it is Truth. That is of no help to you though, is it? Now that we have that out of the way, let me suggest you leave your gurus and teachers if you follow any, they want you too anyway, cast off and sail inside to the shores of knowing led by the True Light of your Self. Either these holy ones, ha, know what I am saying already or they are as lost as the people that follow them. We all need community, but we share in that as equals. There is no higharchy among us needed when all take responsibility for their actions and reactions, we are all equals, because we are of the same stuff. No one has the right to dictate your actions, they can force and coerce you, but you have the choice how you respond with your actions and reactions. This is a debatable point dependent on your understanding of free will, in actuality there may be no free will. In the world around you, you have the illusion of choice, but they are mediated by cause and effect.

Your suffering is illusory, I know it hurts, I didn’t say it will not hurt, but no one is here to hurt and no one is hurting you. A paradox, no? How will you resolve it? The shackles that bind you are bigger than your neck and limbs, they slip on and off.

Perhaps you do or don’t acknowledge the spiritual aspect of your being, but there is one, have no doubts, shrug, or struggle with them forever, it is your individual choice. I care, because we all have a stake in our collective awareness and our contribution. Unbalance unbalances all, I seek balance inside and without, for all of us. A balance and agreement must be made between your shadow and light aspects and if we can all do this, the world around us will be as it is naturally and we can flow in it naturally balanced, with balanced concern and freedom from suffering.

There is no winner, no struggle needed.

Everything here at QU is meant to show you there is a knowing possible in life, you need not be tossed on the waves with no hope. Except it isn’t some rope you must grab external to yourself, or some secret teaching you need to find, you are the rope and your own hope. Bumping through life is not needed forever, though it is necessary sometimes. There is an awareness about the world inside of you that is possible to find, a balance, a cancelling of the terms. There are many ways to approach it and bring it forth from inside yourself.

Simply, you are the path to your own salvation from suffering and doubt…

Act accordingly.

I grew up an Evangelical Christian in the US. It’s a nationalist religion short and sweet. We have all heard from Christian fundamentalists that magic and witchcraft is linked with the Devil and that it is Satanic and you will go to hell if you practice it, but after understanding what real Magick is about and its purpose, its given me some insight into the real reason it is demonized. If we know anything about organized religion it uses ideas and symbols to control and indoctrinate people. Magick and occult practices on an individual level uses ideas and symbols to free a person’s mind and allows them to look at things from different perspectives to gain Self knowledge. If the goal of religion is to keep people ignorant, submissive, and controlled than the knowledge of Magick and the Estoeric practices is just as much a threat to blind faith as the knowledge of science and evolution are to blind faith.

I’m not here to promote the Devil or God, whatever those things are, they aren’t knowable or real maybe.

THERE IS SOMETHING HERE THOUGH

And we are flowing in it. I will keep my options open, I know how it acts, I know myself in it, but I don’t know what it is.  I’m here to remind you of something you forgot about yourself though. Anytime you come here to QU, you will be confronted with alternate ways to see yourself and the world and how to find yourself as the path.

YOU ARE THE PATH

This is the meaning of Christ’s words I found for myself. When you are ready to leave it all behind and go inside, you will begin a journey you will never be able to anticipate in the flow of life, you can be led by a honed intuition with no fear able to take any rough water. You are here to dissolve yourself back into that swirling whatever we are in right now. There is no up or down, left or right, good or evil, yet, in balance, all works out the way it should every moment.

THIS IS THE WAY

 

The Circle of Seeking

Understanding

Awakening

Liberation

Rinse and repeat

When you are ready

For freedom

Seek yourself

The way is hidden

Our lives are short

And can be beautiful

Leave it all behind

No treasure

No reward

All is Maya

There is nothing to do

And no one to do it

I know that I am nothing

But a cherry blossom tree

I know I am boundless

Now I’m free

Know Thyself

I exhausted myself, looking.
No one ever finds this by trying.
I melted into it and came home,
Where every jar is full,
But no one drinks.

On the way to God the difficulties
feel like being ground by a millstone,
like night coming at noon,
like lightning through the clouds.
But don’t worry!
What must come, comes.
Face everything with love,
as your mind dissolves in God

I didn’t trust it for a moment,
but I drank it anyway,
the wine of my own poetry.
It gave me the daring to take hold
of the darkness and tear it down
and cut it into little pieces.”

[Lalla – 14th Century]

Know Thyself

 

 

What Will You Become

“What the caterpillar calls the end of the world,
the Master calls a butterfly.” – Richard Bach

surreal-butterflycosmosplanetsspirit-animalanimal-totemnicsearth

Food For the Moon

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I just read a story about a man who was killed in an avalanche following his passions on Mt. Everest.  You never know when one of those is coming for you. He seemed driven by a deep need to connect with something. I understand that feeling of emptiness. He climbed the world’s highest peaks to fill it. I seek to climb those internal peaks men have dreamed of. Rest in peace Dan.

I want to share a summary of sorts of my experiences with The Tarot. It kind of just presented itself to me after 44 years without one passing thought about it in all that time. It was something gypsies ripped people off with I thought. Little did I know.

I will not go into it more now, but The Tarot is a mystical tool, like the coins of the I Ching, or bones of the medicine man. The cards make a web you can cast out into the Universe to get your current bearing in time and space.

The Tarot helped me attain self knowledge, it helped me learn why I did what I did and also hinted at what is possible for one to become. More than anything it showed me simply what I was. I found ways to let go of regret and desire and see myself honestly. I used the cards as a mirror and I looked at the pictures and felt the words at that given moment and time and sifted myself through the filter of the cards. It helped me grow rapidly using the cards spontaneously and creatively. It showed me the need for balance between the Sun and Moon, Anima and Animus. We live in between these polarities.

It led me to an experience with myself and embracing myself as a Shaman and Mystic. Who knew? The cards aligned so well with my personal esoteric studies and writing and synchronicity made it all real. I’m an experiencer and a gambler, but I learned there need be no gambling.

Life is a mystery and love is the way to understand it. The rest seems to work itself out naturally if you let it.

I found two causes for my suffering, or I should say the Tarot clarified these. It suggested I embrace my life in the world and pay attention. I came to it in deep mediation and wide open with few questions, factors I learned that can contribute to deep insights. These led me to self initiation into many things. Then long dead teachers began teaching me, they are not dead actually, alive in us.

I do not feel like being quiet or keeping secrets, that time is past. Time for a new way, a synthesis, which is the responsibility of every generation. It led me to the I Ching and then beyond Divination. Tarot is a great tool in individuation and I think it should be used by every Psychologist and I would go further to say, while the Tarot can lead one out of the maze of their mind, I think it can also lead one into madness. As with all things, intention I learned matters. Greed and the baser instincts seem to disqualify you from these insights. So, I think you get from Tarot, just like anything, what you put into it and ultimately into yourself. I learned what was holding me and all of us back from heights undreamed.

Fear and regret.

I am free to do what I like and I find I like higher things and my natural tilt is towards the light. I wish not to hurt others, but I like lowly dirty things too, such is what I am. Why do all of this anyway or ask these questions, because you know and feel in yourself many rungs on the ladder of awareness.

“I cannot grasp all that I am.” – St Augustine

Augustine could not grasp it all, but we can and I am and we should. We can grasp all that we are. A gift or curse, shrug, its fun to search for it. I thank the Gamemaster.

Perhaps we are food for the Moon, as some people have wondered, but that would be absurd, wouldn’t it 😉 Everything eats something in this Universe.

All this from some funny cards. The archetypes of our unconcious are strewn out across the numbers, images and formulas. They tell the inner journey of all people. The cards are meaningless though, the wisdom I found is already inside of us. The cards just help me remember myself and how I like to play and fool myself.

There are many ancient and new tools to use to explore yourself with. I say try them all. Live like you have no tomorrow,  you were born for this moment. Dance like a fool before the Gods.

God helps me.

Mythopoetic Imagination

“My soul, my soul, where are you? Do you hear me? I speak, I call you–are you there? I have returned, I am here again. I have shaken the dust of all the lands from my feet, and I have come to you, I am with you. After long years of long wandering, I have come to you again….

Do you still know me? How long the separation lasted! Everything has become so different. And how did I find you? How strange my journey was! What words should I use to tell you on what twisted paths a good star has guided me to you? Give me your hand, my almost forgotten soul. How warm the joy at seeing you again, you long disavowed soul. Life has led me back to you. … My soul, my journey should continue with you. I will wander with you and ascend to my solitude.” – Carl Jung – The Black Book

“Now let me dare to open wide the gate / Past which men’s steps have ever flinching trod.” – Goethe

Carl Jung used mythopoetic imagination to describe his inner explorations of his unconscious mind. This term was coined by Jung. Humanity has a rich heritage and history of mythopoetic writing. What is it? From Liber Primus of Liber Novus: Seeking Visions in the Desert, “I wanted the proof of a living Spirit and I got it.  Don’t ask me at what price.”  I have been studying Jung’s experience, tracing my own over his. I think it is a path within all can and will walk. Jung says in The Black Book, “And I found you again only through the soul of the woman.”

I can only say, I too found my soul again through the soul of a woman. Fitting to share such a synchronicity with the man who coined the word “synchronicity”. His story is my story and my story is your story and yours is mine. Round and round we go. Do we believe all the other stories about us or do we write our own? This is what led me to Jung. Here is a man who has obviously asked himself the hardest questions. He looked in the darkest corners of his own soul and the collective soul of humanity. I see sincerity and life in his writings. He explored the Anima and Animus, Eros and Logos, and the mystery of their conjunction. It is incredible what he has given us through his lucid transcription of what he said are his visions, not contrived, spontaneous visions from nowhere. In a world gone mad with reason, can there still be room for such experience? We must always make room.

Jung found the doorway to vision.  Later in life he called it “Active Imagination.” What did he do, what happened to him?  And what is mythopoetic imagination? Is it delusion, or the doorway to a lost dimension of reality? Is it ultimately subjective, or a reality collectively manifest in human experience? Through the lens of history and our personal experience, using our imaginations, we can tap into similar realms of mind our ancestors have. What have we lost disconnecting ourselves so far from such a direct experience of reality? I will leave it to you to decide for yourself if there is any Truth to our collective or individual visions. I believe there is great wisdom hidden in plain sight within the patterns of our minds and how we see and experience the world around us. Jung felt our collective unconscious was made up of the dead and we are the dead reawakened to try again to solve the riddle of life.

The reality around us seems very stubbornly real and we would collectively agree it is real. Is The Real some point in space? Or is The Real something you are? It can be disorienting and dangerous to leave the ground of the agreed upon reality, but personally I highly encourage it, not to be different, but to find the Truth about yourself. There is no greater use of your time than to seek your source, the source of your own myth. Many have lost their way, quite out loud as well, on the journey to find themselves. It is frowned upon as self indulgent to seek yourself in most organized religions, but that could not be farther from the truth, but as people quiet their minds today, they are finding out things about themselves. Keep it simple they say, well it is not simple and it takes all types to make a rainbow, but it’s a rainbow bridge we must forge together across an ocean of ignorance to get beyond this delusion we call reality today.

All points lead back to the center, true for every mandala every made or life lived.

The human brain appears to be wired to experience the Universe in a direct and some would say, mystical way. You come in contact with the same visions the insane and mystics have often spoken of when you are quiet long enough or in a Zen moment. They can come bubbling up from the unconscious mind when our minds are of all things, quiet! Why do you think we keep ourselves so busy? Mystics have said this is a connection the right brain has to a reality outside of time and space, that enfolds our world we experience here with our senses. Others believe life is a prison to be escaped. All are probably true in part. What is your experience?

Often and it’s mostly metaphorical, mystics speak of our reality as an illusion, a swirl of natural and unnatural energies within a real thing. Einstein called what we all agree is real, a stubborn optical delusion. So, we are the created, manifest thing. The Source was whole before and independent of us, but we are of that. The Mystics say the unconscious mind is our collective consciousness. Jung is a modern educated man who mapped this space and went half mad. You can not cross into the unconscious with just the mind and thoughts of a man or woman. Jung was a Father of modern Psychiatry and Psychology ironically. He opened himself to intense personal exploration. He was trying to understand the visions and insights that he was experiencing spontaneously, but he had to hide much of it with his strange writings. These visions could make sense to a scientist who might explain the common experience is due to the similarity of our brains structure. He did not consider himself a Mystic or Gnostic in the open. Science cannot go any further than the objective empirical facts will let them. Beyond fact is the realm of the mystic floating in an ocean of emptiness and love,  only accessible through direct experience requiring much patience and focus. The feeling of being in it often happens through spontaneous creativity or moments where there is no thought of the self.

Most Westerners today have no direct conscious experience of this awareness or the connections between all things. As a matter of fact, awareness of this aspect of ourselves is suppressed for the sake of law and order. There lies the tension between personal subjective experience and what we can objectively understand about the world. The Mystic goes within where most fear to tread. To the mystic who explores reality through direct subjective experience of it, this is The Way or The Great Work. We are all called to it naturally. This knowledge of the Universe belongs to all of us. Our exploration into our unconscious can be seen in the esoteric and occult writings from across history, especially in poetry and literature from the past. Poetry provides a view of the time from an emotional perspective. Gilgamesh is an awesome epic poem from the ancient past that provides us an example of our most ancient imaginings and struggles. We can clearly see our fear of Death driving Gilgamesh. It was the first great epic poem written down we have that has survived from the ancient past, dated about 2000 BC.

I would propose that mythopoetic writing and creativity is the key to integrating fragmented parts of yourself. We are playing hide and seek with the pieces of our self. Hey, you might find the meaning of life along the way. I sit at the feet of another in this area, Carl G. Jung. He pursued several personal experiments where he explored his unconscious mind. He threw himself into it over decades and recorded his journeys in the Red and Black Books and many other paintings and drawings.

I personally had 2 strong visions recently. I imagined Man and Woman an allegory for the union in the Garden of Eden, but to reenter, I saw man and woman take off a rainbow bodysuit. Just unzipped it and walked in. I knew they were taking off their knowledge. I saw Abraxas, the manifest God of antiquity Good/Evil-Light/Shadow, spinning all the people that have every been into a golden thread through its movement through space and that thread was used to hold the Universe together. I saw these visions very plainly and vividly in my mind before I knew what they meant for me. I followed and researched the symbols and words I found and they led me to other things. We can not be afraid of the visions we have, dark or light. They mean something and are trying to tell us something. We should explore them.

As far as mythopoetic imagination goes, Jung is up there with the most clear voices of Humanity in my estimation. Dante and Blake would be proud, well, they probably wouldn’t be proud, but they would stand with Jung. Jung came into contact with some powerful internal visions he shared through applying the overlay of history to his experience. None of us stands alone, never have, never will. You want to play with Man, come on down to Earth, or play the terrible or loving God in Heaven.

There is no end to this drama.

So do not flee from Abraxas, do not seek him. You feel his coercion, do not resist him, so that you shall live and pay your ransom. The works of Abraxas are to be fulfilled, for consider that in your world you yourself are Abraxas and force your creature to fulfill your work. Here, where you are the creature subjugated to Abraxas, you must learn to fulfill the work of life. There, where you are Abraxas, you compel your creatures.

You ask, why is all this so? I understand that it seems questionable to you. The world is questionable. It is the unending infinite folly of the Gods, which you know is unendingly wise. Surely it is also a crime, an unforgivable sin, and therefore also the highest love and virtue.

So live life, do not flee Abraxas, provided that he compels you and you can recognize his necessity. In one sense I say to you: do not fear him, do not love him. In another sense I say: fear him, love him. He is the life of the earth, that says enough.

You need to recognize the multiplicity of the Gods. You cannot unite all into one being. As little as you are one with the multiplicity of men, just so little is the one God one with the multiplicity of the Gods. This one God is the kind, the loving, the leading, the healing. To him all your love and worship is due. To him you should pray, you are one with him, he is near you, nearer than your soul.

I, your soul, am your mother, who tenderly and frightfully surrounds you, your nourisher and corrupter; I prepare good things and poison for you. I am your intercessor with Abraxas. I teach you the arts that protect you from Abraxas. I stand between you and Abraxas the all-encompassing. I am your body, your and Abraxas the all-encompassing. I am your body, your shadow, your effectiveness in this world, your manifestation in the world of the Gods, your effulgence, your breath, your odor, your magical force. You should call me if you want to live with men, but the one God if you want to rise above the human world to the divine and eternal solitude of the star.”

~C Jung; Red Book; Appendix C.

Philemon

Recommended Readings

Image – Chaos Monster and Sun God – base relief from Austen Henry Layard’s ‘Monuments of Nineveh, Second Series’ plate 19/83, London, J. Murray, 1853