Tag: trust

Warning! Spoilers ahead!

I am terrified of heights, terrified, always have been. I can fly in a plane just fine, but get me up above a foot stool and my stomach falls out. Now isn’t that interesting. I can trust a plane more than a ladder. Doesn’t it seem to always come down to trust. What do you trust? What do I trust? Anyway, as I was thinking about this recently, I saw this new movie “The Walk” was coming out soon. Seemed an interesting story, it is about Philippe Petit who wire walked across the World Trade center towers. I was NOT going to see it!

I had told myself, I will NEVER see that movie. How could I? Slowly as the release date approached and I caught myself sweating about it. I was literally sweating over the anxiety that the movie represented to me, the one I was NEVER going to see. This is the interesting part, I realized, in the moment, these were some of the most intense feelings I have ever felt. Over a movie about a wire walker I was NEVER going to see? Well, this piqued my interest as I meditated about it and I determined, I must see this movie if it can already evoke such an emotional response in me. I can always shut my eyes at the hard parts. I decided to do this right, I had to see it in IMAX 3D, go big or go home is my credo.

The movie opened with, “A true story.” We shall see I told myself, but I liked the bold statement. As my girlfriend and I started to watch, a particular part of my anatomy began to shrink, quickly. It isn’t what you think and I began to cling to her, like a little child. My stomach disappeared, which was a problem, because I was eating popcorn. I told myself that when we get to the hard part, remember, you can shut your eyes. Unfortunately, as the movie progressed, I began to understand Philippe and the purity of his heart and quest. It was profound to me and very serendipitous, a common theme in my life as of late. To walk the tight rope of life.

As the story unfolded I saw that there was no compromise in this man. He represented iron will and fear contained. He was scared, terrified, but he set his heart on the most impossible thing, not for fame, but out of pure creativity and joy of the moment. This is a man to know and a heart, that I began to feel, reflects the best we can be. Yes, it was a magical alchemical act and moment of awareness. He did it in front of the world that gave it even more power. He transcended the system and his limits through his joy!

As the inevitable coming moments looking over the edge of oblivion were joyously foreshadowed, my fear began to multiply, by a quintilbillion(I made that number up, but you get the idea). Looking over the edge of the world trade tower in IMAX 3D, what was I thinking?! I told my girlfriend, we might have to leave. After I let these wimpy words leave my mouth and I lost all pride, something in me stirred. You owe his courage to watch with your “Eyes Wide Open”. Clear as that. So I did what Philippe was doing on the screen.

I stopped thinking
I focused on my breath
I was in the moment

And then…

I had no fear
My eyes were wide open
Looking down on the scene above
I felt like I was right there with him
He laid down on the wire and looked up

I watched his ENTIRE walk, oh no, not once, but over 4 times he walked that wire! For me, this was a perfect still moment. I imagined I felt it as he did in that moment. I was transformed and transported in that moment. It was an expression of complete trust on his part. That is the lesson I took from it. He had no faith, just iron will based on trust. There are teaching moments in our lives. Every moment of our lives can teach us something if we but open our eyes to see the motivations behind our emotions and actions. There is always a root cause somewhere. Tracing those threads in our lives and discovering what they have to teach is the work we must do on our own.

There was a great deal of hidden esoteric symbolism in the movie as well. I thought it was very interesting that I could see it and that it was placed there for a reason. I am inspired by Christ and all the teachers presenting themselves to me past, present and future. I am encouraged in my quest to find and be Divine Love. Thank you for pushing me to face my fears. I encourage you to face those fears down one by one in your life until you find nothing holding you back from your Golden Dawn.