I know both her faces.
I have met her in the women I have loved.
She was born of the source and she birthed the source in time.
I have hated and loved her.
I have cursed and praised her.
She is the wisdom of the Greeks.
She is the knowledge of the Barbarians.
She is the White Buffalo Calf Woman.
She brought the Seven Sacred Rites to the Lakota.
History is not fact, it is narrative.
What does she want of us?
She will never let me go.
She echos in my heart and mind.
She soothes my soul and makes me rage.
Every real man has had to contend with her in time.
Lilith and Eve.
How to pierce her duality?
When I go to my resting place beyond time, she will meet me there and I will live and not die again.
My head hurts.
But I am sober.
My heart longs to be worthy of her, but I fear her.
I feel she wants to eat my heart.
Maybe I have to give it to her willingly.
I would not be here now without her.
The way my wife clings to me, is like how she grasps for me.
I have always pushed my women away.
Out of fear of being loved and known and maybe exposed as the weakling I can be.
But now, I am falling into a black hole.